Imperfections
by AidenSky
Summary: Miranda Lawson is a cold, hard, calculating woman. Nothing more. Commander Shepard isn't so sure. FShep/Miranda character study
1. Imperfections

Imperfections

'_You're nothing. You're worthless. Nothing more than a failed experiment kept alive out of pity. Never forget that. Never forget exactly what you are. It will keep you alive….'_

The words ran in and around Miranda's head on a constant loop. She tried to push it to the back of her mind, tried to block it out with more important matters, but no matter how hard her efforts, she could always hear its hum. It wove in and out of every part of her brain, making sure to plant seeds along the way that blossomed and buried their roots further.

Though they couldn't be ignored, they could be dimmed, and that was just what Miranda did as she watched the heart monitor in front of her suddenly spike. She looked down and listened to all of the equipment around her start beeping in a cacophony of alerts. Wincing at the sound, she glared at the man who had turned to check some readings. She was waking up. It definitely wasn't time yet. The woman on the bed stirred and, almost instinctively, Miranda rushed over to her side.

To be fair, it wasn't exactly uncalled for. The specimen on the table had cost Cerberus a pretty penny, and she was fair certain the Illusive Man would not be happy upon hearing that their four billion dollar project had fallen out of bed and broken her neck…again. Failure was not an option. In fact, Miranda rarely had conscious use for the word, unless she was using it to describe someone else's actions. It was that reason that she had been put in charge of this operation. And it was for that reason that her Lazarus Project was not going to fail.

Miranda pressed her hand ever so gently on the bare skin of the subject's shoulder, keeping her in place. "Try to relax, Shepard," she said calmly so as not to surprise her further. Bright emerald eyes were darting back and forth, occasionally settling on her before quickly moving onto something else. Miranda noticed the pupil dilation was responding well, if a bit slowly, which she had accounted for, and made a mental note to add that to the report. "Don't move or it will hurt worse," she added, watching as Shepard raised her hand, fingers brushing against her cheek softly.

Although she was extremely impressed by that reaction so early into recovery, Miranda kept her face stoic and gently took the hand, setting it back down by Shepard's side. Wilson's second dose of sedatives was kicking in now and she watched Shepard's eyelids flutter for a moment before closing, the beeping of the monitors dwindling until they were gone, back to normal readings. She smiled down at her project, making a few more mental notes for her reports before turning to Wilson with her trademark icy glare.

He tried to glare back, though it was clear who the winner was, and crossed his arms defiantly. Miranda thought the action made him look even more like the petulant child he was acting. She noted his graying hair and scruffy beard. There was a stain on his pants. Coffee, probably. There wasn't much sleep to be had at this facility. Project Lazarus was much too important to waste time sleeping. Did he even care to take care of himself anymore? Apparently not, as his posture was clearly begging for a confrontation.

"The readings are right," he said gruffly, shooting an angry arm towards the data pad on the counter. "See for yourself. No one could have predicted this. Besides, she's fine. Fell right back asleep."

"After a second dose of sedative," Miranda answered harshly. "You're lucky her heart didn't give from the sudden fluctuations. She wasn't ready for this, Wilson. She _shouldn't_ have woken up."

Wilson's eyes hardened even more but despite his stubbornness, he couldn't keep his eyes from drifting downward as Miranda sauntered towards him. She hardly noticed. Watching men undressing her with their eyes was second nature. It had been ever since she'd developed her voluptuous chest. Men wanted her and men wanted to be her. It was fact, not fluff, and she needn't pay any mind to it. Grabbing the data pad, she scanned over the readings quickly before her eyes stopped on one precarious detail.

Smirking evilly, Miranda turned the data pad and pointed at the line with a manicured nail. "Can you tell me what that says?"

Wilson, still firm in his beliefs, squinted with his aging eyes, and read, "…Seven percent increase in RX-1539. That's—

"Shut up, and quit making a bigger fool of yourself. A seven percent increase in RX-1539 is enough to cause a reaction with the RX-425 that was already in her system. The reaction stimulates the adrenal medulla, confusing it, sending out increased doses of epinephrine. I really hope I don't have to explain the rest to you. Surely you can compute that much?"

The top of Wilson's bald head turned red as he glowered at the data pad, refusing to meet eyes with the Cerberus officer. "Sorry I don't have a fucking computer for a brain like some people," he muttered, ripping the data pad from her palm and throwing it back on the counter.

Miranda's brow lowered and she felt heat rising in her neck as the anger swelled inside of her. "Don't make excuses. You were chosen as top of the line, start acting like it before I put someone else in your place."

"What, another fucking lab rat like you? Some test tube genetics and a dash of 'daddy's-little-girl'? Hate to break it to you, sister, but there's only one of those: you. And you're the reason they didn't make any more like you."

It took everything Miranda had to not send a shockwave right through his saggy ass, but she didn't. Instead, she took a deep breath and grabbed Wilson by the chin, bringing him close until they were just centimeters apart. She could tell Wilson was uncomfortable, but also curious. Men were so easy to manipulate. Especially when you had perfect blue eyes and the best pouting lips money could buy.

"I can assure you, Wilson, that you know more about mistakes than I. Add two CCs of RX-517, and there shouldn't be a problem." Miranda spoke in a low, husky voice, watching as the man in front of her tried to remain focused and angry. But clearly it had been too long since any woman had spoken in this tone to him.

"Oh, and one more thing…"

Wilson, in all his efforts, had failed to notice Miranda raising her palm, which resulted in her slapping him hard across the cheek. He cursed in pain and held a hand to his flaming cheek, but the look on Miranda's face was much too confident for him to say anything.

"Don't ever speak to a woman like that."

She smiled evilly at him and snapped her fingers, pointing at the syringes in front of him. He jumped at the sound but turned and did as he was told. Though he muttered under his breath, it was clear who was in control now and Miranda smiled at his back before turning to face her project again.

She had to admit that she'd done well. With the exception of the scars, Shepard looked exactly like she had before the attack. Maybe even a bit better. Her hair still had a bit of growing to do, but that was to be expected, especially if she wanted to put it back up in the tight but she always had it in. Miranda had seen her eyes in action for the first time today and had deemed those a success so far too. Lips were slightly chapped from the sterile, dry room but as long and as full as ever. For a while, Miranda had even considered recreating the scars that used to line Shepard's chin and cross her eyebrow, but the cybernetic scars were enough.

Taking a deep breath, the sentinel reached down and stroked a few strands of hair out of Shepard's long eyelashes, pushing her hair behind her ear. Shepard's skin was cool to the touch, but upon lowering her hand a bit Miranda could feel the strong heartbeat beneath her chest. It made the operative's skin tingle and a rush of heat ran across her thighs. Physically, Shepard was a technological marvel, even for their advanced science. But she would have to wait a bit longer to see how well her emotional and mental state transferred over.

Miranda sighed as a whole new list of worries came tumbling down upon her. It was then that she remembered she had paperwork to do, reports to file, and a meeting with the Illusive Man. Thank goodness she never required much sleep, or she'd be dead. Reluctantly pulling her hand away from Shepard's skin, Miranda left the room and headed to her quarters. The Illusive Man would be expecting her report soon. She'd better get to studying.

0-0-0-0-0

"I'm glad to see you were so quick to find the mistake. We can't risk having Shepard wake before it's time again," the Illusive Man praised before taking a drag from his cigarette. Miranda nodded but before she could get the real taste of pride in herself, he spoke again. "However, I am disappointed that you didn't catch the problem beforehand."

Miranda lowered her head a bit. How could she have been so stupid? The Illusive Man never gave without taking away. She hated the way she fell for it almost every time. "Am I supposed to micromanage everyone?" she snapped, crossing her arms and jutting out her hips, watching as the Illusive Man ignored her body and slowly exhaled the smoke from his lungs.

"If it affects Shepard, it should be monitored by you. You knew the requirements of this project before you signed on. It's far too late for you to be complaining about them now. Besides, you know as well as I that they fall on deaf ears."

Miranda looked away, as close to a concession that she could muster, but the Illusive Man seemed to accept it, nodding and putting his cigarette out on his chair. "Good girl. Know your place and do your job. I expect a full report on this by the next sun cycle."

The operative didn't wait for him to bid her adieu before she stepped out of the holo-screen and left the room. She walked briskly down the hall to her room, making sure her heels clicked with intimidating authority. She didn't want to be bothered and she already pitied the first person that was going to try it. Why did she have to let her anger get in the way? It almost always clouded her judgment. And in front of the Illusive Man, no less. Miranda shook her head angrily; running a hand through her luscious brown hair to make sure it hadn't tangled. She was always the fool, always the second best, second place, second nothing. Sometimes she didn't know why she bothered.

"Something wrong, Miranda?" a voice called from behind her.

Miranda stopped in her tracks and sighed, lowering her head. She'd been looking forward to taking her anger out on the first person that spoke to her, but this man would get none of it. "Good evening, Jacob," she said professionally, turning her head as her came up next to her. He looked at her just as seriously and straightened his posture, like the perfect soldier he was.

"You look pissed off."

"How observant of you."

"Come on, don't be like that."

"Don't make obvious observations."

Jacob nodded, giving in, and Miranda silently thanked him for that. "I heard Shepard woke up this morning. Must have been nerve wracking."

Miranda sighed, "You know I can't talk about that."

"Yeah, I know. But it's okay, I can read what I need in your eyes."

Miranda smiled, scoffing a bit as she turned to face down the hall. She loved Jacob's company more than anyone she knew, but right now she wanted nothing more than to crawl behind the safety of her locked door and work on paperwork until she passed out from fatigue. The latter was unlikely but at least she could get work done hoping for it. Either way she especially didn't want to be in this hallway, listening to the hurt in Jacob's voice and seeing the longing in his eyes, feeling the regret in his careful movements.

Jacob shuffled his feet for a moment, and Miranda felt the warm weight of his hand being placed upon her shoulder. He squeezed her affectionately and she closed her eyes. She was no better than Wilson, enjoying this small display of affection so much, but she couldn't help it. It had been so long since…well, since anything worthwhile. Shepard had been her only focus for almost two years. And yet, she wasn't done. She couldn't let herself get distracted.

"I've got to go work on some reports," Miranda said finally, shrugging out of his grasp. He let his hand fall and nodded, knowing he'd get no further tonight. The sentinel wished him a quick good night before making her way to the end of the hall, stepping in through the door and locking it from the other side. Hearing the latch of the lock relaxed her almost instantly and she took a deep breath, resting against the door for a moment.

Jacob was nice, and he'd been good to her, but he had been a mistake. She knew it when she first accepted his offer for dinner many months ago and still went against her better judgment. It was just another reason backing her senselessness. She shook her head and looked at her computer. It was waiting patiently at her desk and she could make out the flashing indicator that informed her of her new messages. Then she eyed her bed. It was ill-used, but comfortable when she did find time to sleep. For some reason, it called to her more than it normally did. Miranda watched it lazily and imagined herself in it, snuggling up under the covers, head resting on the feather pillow, Shepard sleeping peacefully next to her…

Miranda's head shot up so quickly she almost slammed the back of it against the door. She'd definitely been spending too much time with her project. The Illusive Man should be proud. Trying to smirk but failing, Miranda eased her way over to her desk and sat down, opening up the messages and preparing herself for a long night.


	2. Mistakes

Mistakes

Miranda couldn't help but smile as she watched her project navigate its way through the space station, hacking mechs and pulling off headshots as if she'd been doing it yesterday. More and more evidence was lining up to her success. Shepard was just as tactical an infiltrator as ever, taking expert cover and firing off perfectly executed shots, using her tech abilities to ensure that she always had the upper hand.

Truthfully, it was almost orgasmic. Miranda couldn't help herself or the euphoric feeling that was swelling throughout her torso. This…this human had been perfectly reconstructed. She was the first ever attempt of her kind, and she was a success. And it had been entirely her doing. Sure, the Illusive Man provided the credits and technology, but she was the one to make it come to life. She had drafted the plans, executed them, and seen them through. Even if this wasn't the trial anyone had expected, it would still be filed as a success. Shepard finished off one final mech and raced to a doorway.

"You're doing great, Shepard, just—

The sentinel was cut off by the sound of her door blasting open. She turned, unfazed, and watched as a heavy mech clunked its way into the surveillance room. Shepard could do fine without her for a few moments. She was about to run into Jacob anyway, who was certain to help her. They'd meet up again at the docking bay in a few minutes. And if Miranda was lucky, she'd stumble over Wilson's bloody corpse along the way.

0-0-0-0-0

A surge of electricity shot through Shepard's brain. Yet despite the startling wake up call, her eyelids were lazy and heavy at responding to it. Everything was a stark white blur when her lids finally parted, bright green eyes revealed as pupils quickly dilated. Her other senses came alive as her vision struggled to focus. A sterile, metallic smell filled her nostrils along with something smelling sweeter, alluring. She could hear the beeping and sputtering of various monitors and her body slowly started to ache in what seemed like a deep and buried pain within her body. Eyes finally adjusted to the light, she made out the figure of a pale woman. She had a heart shaped face and kind but determined, focus eyes, the intensity of their blue color only adding to the fervor. Dark hair cascaded around Shepard as the woman leaned over, the alluring smell filled her nose once more, slowing her rapidly beating heart ever so slightly.

The woman was saying something, but Shepard was beyond comprehension, struggling to breathe and hear over the thundering of her chest. She stared intently at the full lips hiding white teeth and tried to decipher what she was saying. But a sudden rush of cold liquid entered her right arm and before she could thank the mysterious angel before her, Shepard was out again.

The next time the Commander woke was a much more jarring incident. Fighting through heavy mechs of all shapes and sizes while trying to figure out just how the hell you got here was no small feat, but Shepard made it look easy. Firing a gun always came naturally to her anyway, and when instincts arose, Shepard was first to fire. The brief meeting with Jacob and Wilson had helped determine her location, but did nothing to quell the rotting, sinking feeling in her gut.

Cerberus.

Not exactly her arch nemesis, but she could hardly say she fully supported them. The headstrong Commander had her own way of dealing with racism and prejudice against humans, and she generally took note from Cerberus on what not to do. However, she couldn't deny the facility's passion for what they wanted. It was admirable, even if she didn't necessarily agree. And currently, they weren't killing her. So joining with them, for now, was the best way to go.

It wasn't until they'd reached the loading dock that Shepard got the biggest surprise of the night. Wilson ran to the door and punched in a few codes while she and Jacob surveyed the area to make sure they were clear of enemies.

"The shuttle should be right through—

Wilson was cut off as the door opened, revealing the same dark angel that Shepard had seen once before. The Commander had barely turned around to recognize her when the angel's face fell into a grimace and she unloaded a shot of her pistol right between Wilson's eyes. Aiming her pistol right between her eyes, Shepard determined that she needed to find out this woman's name soon, as 'angel' was clearly no longer fitting.

"Drop your weapon!" Shepard shouted, cocking her own and pressing her finger just enough against the trigger to feel resistance.

The dark haired woman turned to the Commander and looked her up and down, a cocky grin forming on her full lips. Despite Shepard's sudden want to smack the grin right off of those beautiful lips, she stayed put, refusing to blink.

"Easy, Shepard," Jacob began, slowly walking toward the two in hopes of getting in between. "Miranda's the voice that's been helping you through this. Though I have no idea why the hell she shot Wilson." He shot Miranda an icy glare that the sentinel had no problem returning.

"Who do you think rewired the mechs, Jacob?" Miranda spoke at last, the foreign accent melting some of the stress off of Shepard's shoulders. But still, she did not lower her pistol.

"You shot an unarmed man."

Miranda smirked again, giving Shepard a look over once more with a pleased expression. "He wasn't unarmed," she finished as she gestured to his holstered pistol.

"It's holstered. Same as being unarmed. I won't ask you again. Drop…your…weapon."

Miranda sighed and lowered her pistol. This satisfied Shepard enough to where she lowered her own. However, before she could even see it happening, Shepard found herself in the midst of a chokehold. In her aggressive gasps for breath she took in that familiar alluring scent that she recalled when she first woke up. That must have been Miranda's perfume. Though the only thing she could concentrate on now was the muscled yet slender arm that was being forced against her throat.

"Come on, Miranda!" Jacob shouted, "She didn't—

"Let me make something perfectly clear to you," Miranda began, ignoring Jacob as her hold tightened on the Commander's neck. "I am going to be your second in command. Once that happens, I will do anything you ask, as long as it pertains to the mission. But until then, remember that I built you, Shepard. I know everything about you. You were high and mighty two years ago. A lot of things have changed. I suggest you watch your tone," she finished, releasing her arm.

It took every bit of will that Shepard had not to fall on the floor, gasping for breath. But she wasn't going to give Miranda the satisfaction. Instead she took slow, even breaths, straightening her posture and never taking her eyes from the brunette.

"Know everything about me, eh?" Shepard began once she was sure her voice wasn't going to crack. "Then you must know about my childhood, watching my friends and family get carried off by Batarians. Someone with a childhood like that can't be very stable. And probably already has trust issues. Then of course there was that incident on Torfan. Someone who would sacrifice their whole squad for the sake of the mission probably doesn't hold a lot of remorse."

The brunette eyed Shepard suspiciously, waiting to see what she'd do next. Shepard hoped that she wasn't giving herself away. She had experienced and done all of those things, but she wasn't about to let Miranda think that she was sorry about it. Not yet, anyway. Smirking, Shepard stepped closer to Miranda and placed her left hand on her shoulder, impressed at her lack of reaction. However, the minute Miranda's eyes darted to her left hand, Shepard struck with her right, punching the sentinel in the stomach.

Miranda lurched forward only for the cause of physics before straightening herself back up. Shepard could see the tears forming in her enraged eyes and smiled at her. "Maybe you should do a little bit more research, princess. Now let's get on the ship." Shepard headed towards the shuttle without another word. Jacob moved to help Miranda, only to be stopped by her hand. He looked up at her curiously, his brow furrowing even more when she flashed him a pleased smile and followed Shepard to the ship.

Jacob shook his head, knowing right there that he would never understand women.

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda stood at her station, typing furiously into the computer. It was in moments like these that she wished her fingers could move faster. There was so much data to enter and precious little time. Time that Shepard seemed to be wasting as she stood in front of the armory, changing colors and brands on her armor as slowly and meticulously as possible. This wasn't a goddamn fashion show. She needed to speak to the Illusive Man and get her orders so they could be on her way. The Reapers weren't going to wait around as Shepard made sure she looked good.

Of course, she could be just a hint biased, if the bruise forming on her stomach was any indication. Miranda grimaced into the computer screen, ignoring the look that Jacob was giving her from over his shoulder. It was as if he was surprised that she was mad about getting punched in the gut. Who wouldn't be mad? Perhaps he was more concerned about the smile she gave him afterward. That made more sense, but only a bit more. Shepard was showing the same flaring temper and cockiness that she'd had before the Normandy's attack. Of course she was proud. As far as she could tell, she was a perfect replication of herself. More testing would prove that, but for now, Miranda and Shepard were passing with flying colors.

Shepard was exactly who she used to be, she'd just lost two years of her life. Scratch that: Cerberus had given her the two years back, recreating Shepard back to her 29 year old self instead of aging her to her would be 31. She should be thanking them. She should be thanking Miranda.

Instead, Shepard aims her gun at her, more than ready to fire. Miranda could see the glint in her eyes, the one that was begging her to make a move so she could pull the trigger. She could care less who Miranda was. The sentinel hit the spacebar furiously, causing both Jacob and Shepard to glance over briefly. She ignored them, as well as the aching feeling that entered her chest. Emotions were worthless to the mission. In fact, emotions were worthless in the entirety of her life. They only served to slow her down and cause her to make mistakes.

A presence on her left caused Miranda to turn, and she came face to face with the Commander once more. Apparently, the sentinel had been so busy being…_emotional_, that she'd failed to notice Shepard finished her outfit and her chat with the Illusive Man. She'd have to remedy her lack of focus. But that was for another time. Her eyes gave Shepard a once over. She'd chosen a deep crimson suit with white outlines. Capacitor chest plates for her shields and a visor that improved her headshot capability. Miranda wondered why she went with the visor, given that her headshots were near perfect. But, there was always room for betterment. She of all people knew this.

"Can I help you, Commander?" she asked curtly, turning back to her monitor.

Shepard shuffled from side to side for a bit before reaching up to rub the back of her neck. "Look, Lawson, I'm…I'm sorry about what happened back there. How's your stomach?"

"Bruised. Thankfully, there is no internal damage and I heal faster than average." Miranda saw no need to look at the Commander as she spoke. If Shepard minded she made no mention of it. Though, from the corner of her eyes, Miranda could see her smirking just a bit.

"Australian, eh?"

"Pardon?"

"You're Australian. Australian's are the only ones that give 'no' about twelve extra syllables. I've been there a few times. Quite beautiful back in the day, I'm told. Much like the rest of Earth was, I guess."

Miranda's brow furrowed and she finally allowed herself to look up at the Commander. "Twelve syllables? You're not making sense. I should have done more thorough testing." She cast her angered eyes over at Jacob who just shrugged and continued to look over the ledge.

Shepard laughed. It was…pleasant. Miranda made sure her expression hadn't changed before looking back over at the woman. She had pulled her hair back up into its trademark bun. It defined her face well. She had strong cheekbones. The scars looked to be healing at an acceptable rate. Miranda turned back to the computer and typed in a few more details.

"Yeah, when Australians say 'no' it's always something along the lines of 'nuuoweh,'" Shepard did her best to imitate, slight color rushing to her cheeks at the embarrassing and definitely not Australian sound that emerged.

Ignoring the fact that she was mildly offended, Miranda raised an eyebrow at her Commander and turned to the side. "Look, Commander, there are quite a lot of human lives at stake. Let's start acting our age and get to it."

"Jesus, so much for trying to pull the stick out of your ass," Shepard answered with a wave of her hand, shaking her head in disbelief at the woman in front of her. How could someone be so cold, so unemotional? Shepard was hardly a paragon of how to act or live life, but at least she made an attempt.

"We have a job to do. We can talk about it, or we can do it," Miranda answered with finality, turning back to the screen. Shepard muttered something under her breath but moved on, heading over to Jacob. Miranda sighed in relief and went back to work, which also meant watching the two out of the corner of her eye.

"What the hell is her problem?" Shepard asked none too quietly as she approached Jacob, casting an arm towards the sentinel. She knew that Miranda would hear her but didn't care. It's not like their distaste for each other was a secret.

Jacob glanced over at Miranda and smiled faintly. "She's a very dedicated woman. You've been her project for two years. Truthfully, you should be thanking her, and not socking her in the gut."

"It was just one punch! Not like I aborted her child or something!" Shepard shouted, noting instantly that Miranda straightened her posture just a bit. Jacob looked torn between hitting Shepard, or running her out of the room for her own safety. Apparently, the Commander had touched a nerve. She sighed at her lack of reserve and lowered her eyes, along with her voice.

"I take it that was the wrong thing to shout at the top of my lungs," she began slowly.

Jacob nodded slowly, with a hint of disappointment. "It's not my place to say why, but it'd be in your best interest not to mention things like that again."

Shepard's nostrils flared impatiently. She liked being in the loop. It avoided accidents like this. But there was no going back in time, so she'd just have to apologize, again. "Look, Jacob, I'm sorry. Not about the abortion thing, because clearly that's Miranda's issue. But…I've been more than a little brusque to you. It's been quite an enlightening few hours. And I think I'm calming down. The Illusive Man said you brought me back because of my impressive history and I haven't been showing one ounce of it. If you'll give me a chance, I'll prove my worth to you, Miranda…Cerberus…the galaxy."

Jacob nodded, seemingly pleased, and saluted her. "Aye, Commander. I never had a doubt. Everyone makes mistakes. Just something you gotta learn to deal with."

Shepard noticed his eyes dart to the sentinel as he spoke, but thought it best not to mention it. She couldn't afford having another squad member mad at her. Especially when heading to a supposed 'Collected' colony where everything was unknown and anything was possible. Jacob seemed to notice her slight struggle, and spoke again.

"Look, Miranda's tough. She'll get over a few words. If you want to get her respect, show her that her project didn't fail. Go out there and be the soldier we all know you are, and she'll be eating candy out of your hand."

Shepard nodded, trying not to think too hard on the image of Miranda on her knees in front of her. She couldn't help being attracted to the woman, at least physically. Promising herself that it was nothing more than that, Shepard signaled her crew out the door, impressed that Miranda followed without a single hitch.

0-0-0-0-0

Shepard had to admit, she was impressed with her two squad mates. They followed her orders on Freedom's Progress perfectly and also had a few tricks up their sleeves. Shepard could tell that Jacob and Miranda were close. They seemed to know what the other wanted before either said anything. With a little bit of time, she would have the same relationship with them. They had passed through the hacked mechs and had taken down the heavy mech and finally found Veetor. Tali would most definitely be arriving soon. Not wanting a confrontation with the quarians, Miranda hoped that they would get the information they needed quickly and head out.

Veetor was mumbling incoherently to himself, haphazardly typing all over the several keyboards in front of him. Shepard watched him for a moment, her pistol still raised, just in case. This man had been responsible for killing Tali's crew. She couldn't be too sure of anything just yet.

"Veetor, can you hear me? You're safe," Shepard began, taking a step towards him. Miranda raised her weapon, just in case, but lowered it when she saw Shepard wave her down. She and Jacob exchanged glances as Shepard stepped closer. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"

There was still no response. Shepard raised her gun, as if about to fire, then holstered it, taking out her omni-tool instead. After a few button presses, she waved her arm across the screens and Miranda watched as they all became unavailable to the distressed quarian. He stopped typing then and looked at the screens, then turned back to face them. Despite her contempt for the Commander, Miranda had to admit that was handled well. Shooting anything in the room would probably render him incapable of helping entirely.

Veetor told them everything he knew as best as he could. It wasn't much, given his current state, but the video footage was more than enough evidence to confirm Collector contact. Shepard gave a soft smile to the quarian once he finished. "Thank you, Veetor. You've been a big help."

"Shepard, we should take him with us. Calm him down and find out what else he knows. I bet his omni-tool has quite a good deal of information on it," Miranda said, stepping up to him.

"No, you're not taking him!" Tali shouted, having just entered the room. Everyone turned to her but she focused only on Shepard as she made quick strides to near her. "Shepard, you can't give him over to Cerberus. We'll never get him back."

"No one asked you," Miranda retorted, pleased when Tali turned angrily at her.

"Shepard, please, let him come back with us. He needs to come home."

Shepard stood and regarded the two women. "Are you sure you won't come with me?" she asked almost shyly, reaching out to touch the quarian's shoulder.

Tali stood back, removing the hand. "I told you, I can't. I have my own business to take care of. Besides, I'm still not sure about you and Cerberus."

"Thanks for the trust, Tali," Shepard answered, lowering her head. Miranda could see the hurt in the Commander's eyes and resisted the urge to shoot the quarian on sight. It probably wouldn't do well for the Commander's favor. After a few moments, Shepard raised her head and looked at Tali. "Veetor goes with you; his omni-tool comes with us. That's my only offer."

Tali considered this for a moment before she sighed. "Fine, take it. Goodbye, Shepard. Be careful out there." Not waiting for a response, Tali removed Veetor's omni-tool and tossed it harshly to Miranda before leading the troubled quarian out of the room. Shepard watched her go and Miranda found that she couldn't read her expression. She wasn't sure if that made her angry, or if Tali had made her angry.

Either way, she was angry. She wanted to shoot the quarian in the back as she walked for treating Shepard in such a manner. Miranda could justify herself. She hadn't experienced Shepard before the Collector attack. She had no loyalties to her. But Tali, from her records, should have been kissing Shepard's feet. She didn't even seem to care that she'd hurt Shepard. Miranda wondered if there was something that wasn't in the records. Something that had caused a falling out between them. Or it could be that Tali was just a bitch. She definitely seemed the type.

Shepard sighed and turned to Miranda, looking at the device in her hands. "Are we finished here?" she asked professionally, as a soldier should. Miranda nodded and Shepard returned it. "Let's head out then. I've had enough of this colony."


	3. Plagues

**Hey, guys, so in case any of you are worried, this is going to be primarily a romance between Shepard and Miranda. But I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible so they won't be jumping into bed any time soon. If you can stick with me I promise the sexual tension coming up will be worth it. Thanks for the support!**

Plagues

The Normandy SR-2 was better than Shepard could have imagined, and she tried desperately to contain her excitement. Reuniting with Joker had allowed her to release some of the excitement and Miranda seemed in better spirits than usual. Time heals all wounds, apparently.

She was now lying on the bed in her captain's quarters, surveying the room around her. Stars zoomed by above her head and she wondered if she'd be able to sleep with so much to look at. Hopefully that fish tank could be dimmed. Shepard smirked at herself. As if lights and sounds was the real reason keeping the Commander awake.

Briefly, her mind flashed to Torfan. Batarians, ugliest species in the universe, and the most depraved. They were on their knees, hands behind their hands, rising as tall and straight as they could. But they didn't fool her. She could see the lies behind their four eyes. They were already thinking of ways to get the Alliance back. Her mind flashed again to Mindoir, those same ugly fucks burning people alive, ripping limbs off, and tearing children away from their mothers. It was despicable.

Shepard felt excess saliva forming in her mouth as if she was about to vomit. She'd known the feeling all too well. It had been so hard to keep still, to keep quiet; watching as her mother's head was kicked in next to her father who was already dead. There were some things people were never meant to do, or see. And Shepard had seen them all.

So she killed them. She killed each and every Batarian, even those that surrendered. Vengeance for the galaxy, vengeance for her family, for Mindoir. It felt good then, but now the thoughts only came with nausea and anger. Shepard sighed and dismissed the thoughts. They were of no use now. Even if she wanted to apologize to the Batarians, she was certain she would still opt to shoot them first. And they certainly wouldn't hesitate killing her if they knew who she was. It was best just to stay away.

Deciding it was best to leave her room for now, Shepard headed down to the CIC, where she was introduced to and flirted with the Yeoman. She was pretty enough, if a little too…bright for the Commander's taste. The natural red hair and green eyes were lovely, but Shepard preferred dark hair…or blue skin. The point was: Kelly Chambers would not be her first or second choice. But third place still tended to get a medal for efforts. And even Shepard had to admit, she was a bit of a flirt.

"I might do more than just catch you, Kelly," she smirked, watching the Yeoman's eyes brighten.

"Now that's an enticing offer," Kelly responded, moving her hips a bit as she spoke. Shepard smirked, but it faltered when she noticed Kelly's eyes widen and her posture return back to its previous professional state. "Anything else, Commander?" she asked quickly, nervously.

"That'll be all," Shepard drawled a little too slowly, watching her with incredulous eyes. Was she attempting to be a tease? That wasn't how you did it at all. Deciding to drop it for now, Shepard turned to leave, only to almost run right into Miranda, who appeared to have been surveying the entire exchange. Well, that certainly explained the Yeoman's change of heart.

"Sorry, Lawson, didn't see you there," Shepard said quickly, placing her hands on Miranda's shoulders and backing up a few steps. Miranda worked her shoulders quickly to get Shepard's hands off of her. She didn't like the tingling feeling it brought. Shepard didn't seem hurt by the action and gestured to Kelly. "I was just meeting the Yeoman."

"Yes, I saw that," Miranda responded detachedly, skimming a data pad as quickly as her eyes would go. Shepard watched her eyes, noting their dark blue color. They reminded her of Liara's. Dark, piercing, always reading in, looking further. They were beautiful. Just like Liara was. The Commander almost smiled at the thought of the asari. It was clear that they'd had something, but Shepard never pursued it. She still wasn't sure if she was regretting it or not. Liara had so much going for her…it didn't seem right to have her waiting on Shepard to return from battle, wondering if she'd be alive by the end of the day. Liara deserved better than that. More than Shepard could offer.

Shepard blinked a few times, bringing her thoughts back to the CIC. Miranda looked at her as if she had something coming out of her ears. Clearly she'd been lost in her thoughts for longer than she'd realized. Noticing that the Commander was focusing again, and ignoring the fact that she seemed to have lost her focus in the sentinel's eyes, Miranda cleared her throat. "If you're finished getting settled, I'd like to set a course for Omega. We should pick up Dr. Solus first, so that he can get started as soon as possible." Miranda then sighed. "Unless, you have an alternative, Commander."

Shepard resisted the urge to smile. Miranda wasn't used to not being the one in charge. But if there was one thing she'd learned in her life, it was to pick her battles. And a power battle with Miranda was not wise at this point in time, especially since the XO was making an attempt at being submissive. "That works for me."

Miranda gave a single nod and turned to leave, heading into the elevator. Shepard watched her go, then, in an impulsive decision, raced into the elevator just before the doors shut. Miranda looked taken aback, as well as pissed off, and she crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as she awaited Shepard's excuse.

The Commander licked her lips and sighed. "Look, Lawson, you're a private woman. I respect that. So I don't need to hear the reasons or the story or anything, but I want you to know that I'm sorry about that abortion comment. Truly."

"What abortion comment?" Miranda lied, knowing that the hurt in her eyes was masked. From her pristine memory, she hadn't reacted to Shepard's outburst. Maybe straightened up just a bit, but surely the Commander, fueled in her temper, didn't see something as slight as that, did she?

"Come on, Miranda. I saw you react to it. It was a poor joke. And I'm sorry for it. I guess being with soldiers for so long has made me a bit more…crude than necessary. But I'll work on it."

They met eyes then and Miranda licked her lips. Lying wasn't a good option if she wanted to gain Shepard's trust, but she really didn't want the Commander having privy to such personal information. Perhaps it'd be best just to accept it. Maybe Shepard would never bring it up again. Taking a deep breath, Miranda nodded.

"Sticks and stones, Shepard. Apology accepted, nonetheless."

The bright smile Shepard gave her almost took her off guard. And despite herself and all of her resolve, she smiled back, which caused Shepard's to grow just a bit wider. The elevator door opened and Shepard stuck an arm out to make sure it didn't close them. Miranda's eyes darted quickly to the muscled arm, the long fingers, the short nails, before she quickly exited the elevator, not bothering to say goodbye. Shepard watched her go, noting how the white uniform clung to her tightly. She wondered how the sentinel engaged in combat with such a suit, but before she could dwell on it for too long, the door closed, awaiting her command.

"Shit," Shepard muttered under her breath. Another crush on a woman that didn't deserve her. And dammit all if it was more than physical. There was something behind her XO's eyes that Shepard longed to see. But the mission came first. She had to remember that. She couldn't let feelings get in the way of the galaxy. And she was pretty certain Miranda would feel the same, assuming the sentinel was into her, which she wasn't. So, that was that. Shepard pressed the button to the second floor and mentally prepared for her trip to Omega. Should be a simple get in and get out mission. But given the Commander's track record, one could never be too sure.

0-0-0-0-0

"If I had a credit for every 'simple' mission that turned out to be a pain in the ass, I'd be a rich woman," Shepard commented as they stepped through the doors into the quarantine zone of Omega.

"Threatening to kill everyone who crossed your path was certainly the easiest route to take," Miranda responded sarcastically.

Shepard shrugged her off as they walked past the first set of guards and into the uncontrolled area. "Nothing in there but Batarians anyway. As if they fucking count." There was bitterness in Shepard's voice that neither Jacob nor Miranda had heard before and they exchanged looks as they followed the Commander down the stairs. Miranda half expected this behavior and couldn't really blame the Commander. First Batarians raid her home and kill her family, then happen to be the main infestation problem on Torfan. Shepard's encounters with them hadn't exactly been the best.

But Batarians were still a fairly young race. All too eager to pull the trigger as opposed to talking, much like the humans. Too similar to get along. The sentinel was pulled from her thoughts as the Commander stopped dead on the steps and held a fist in the air. Jacob and Miranda stopped and crouched, aiming their weapons at the two Blue Sun mercenaries that had yet to notice them. Shepard gave them the signal to halt and switched from her Mattock to her Viper Sniper rifle. Then she turned and motioned to two sets of cover for her squad mates to take after she fired. Miranda watched closely as Shepard took aim and fired a perfect a perfect shot, obliterating the helmet and head of one of the mercs.

They moved quickly to their positions, but it proved unnecessary as Shepard took out the second guard with another headshot while running to her cover. They stayed hidden for a moment, listening to see if anyone else was coming. When it was clear that they were safe, Shepard stood, Jacob and Miranda following suit.

"Great shots, Shepard," Jacob commented as the Commander switched her weapon back to the assault rifle.

"I've had a bit of practice," Shepard smiled, before her eyes grew hard and she strutted past him.

The Cerberus operatives followed Shepard over to the wall, where a sick Batarian lay, spouting insults at the Commander as she neared. Miranda took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. If Shepard really did kill every Batarian she saw, they'd never get out of here. She hoped that the Commander could keep her cool long enough for them to get out of here.

"I'm looking for the doctor," Shepard said briskly, crouching down to the hacking Batarian.

"Humans looking for the human sympathizer," he choked, grabbing at his chest. Miranda winced at the sight. Such despair was one of many reasons she hated Omega. If she wasn't causing the pain and torture, it was a bit hard to watch. Jacob took a step closer to her, in an attempted to make her comfortable, but she stepped closer to Shepard instead.

"Spare me your self-righteous speech. Tell me where he is, and I give you some medi-gel. It's as simple as that."

The Batarian made an attempt to insult her again but a slew of coughs was all he could get out before he slumped over, clutching his stomach, drool pooling from his mouth. Shepard watched him fall, then shrugged and moved further down the hall. Miranda watched him for a few more minutes before following, trying to ignore the sounds of the dying person behind her.

"That was harsh, Shepard," Jacob said as they travelled down a few more steps. "We have plenty of medi-gel."

"And limited information. It was a simple trade and he didn't want it. I gave him the option." Shepard turned then, lowering her gun as she strut up to Jacob. She was a bit taller than him and her nostrils flared as she looked down at him. "Do you have a problem with the way I'm leading? Was helping him or leaving him going to affect the mission at hand at all? Really?"

Jacob lowered his eyes and stared at the floor. "No, ma'am."

"Then let's head out. The only thing I wanna hear from you for the rest of this mission is 'nice headshot.'"

Jacob nodded again and Shepard looked to Miranda, noticing that she appeared unfazed by it all. Satisfied, she nodded once and they turned back down the hall. Jacob looked to Miranda for comfort but she merely shrugged. He'd read just as many files on Shepard as she had. He knew that the mission came first, above all. He shouldn't have been surprised. It was the reason Miranda had kept her mouth shut. She just hoped that Jacob would learn his lesson from that.

0-0-0-0-0

Jacob's barrier was taking a beating. Shepard watched it from the corner of her eye as she continued to attack the charging Krogan, his armor still halfway intact. The Krogan's shotgun pierced the last shred of Jacob's barrier and caught him in the shoulder. Seeing his opportunity, the Krogan rounded to the right, preparing to charge. Jacob stood, preparing to fire, when Shepard clamped her hand on his shoulder and brought him down hard.

"Don't get up til your barrier's back," she commanded, turning and signaling Miranda to warp their charging attacker. Miranda flung her arm at the Krogan, watching as her mastered warp nearly obliterated the rest of his armor. Shepard then incinerated the rest, rushing up to him as he became distracted with the flames. Once she was close enough, Shepard fired five Mattock rounds into his face, sidestepping the Krogan as he fell to the floor.

Miranda licked her drying lips at the sight. Shepard was definitely something to behold on the battlefield. The sentinel wondered if it was some sort of high functioning autism that enabled her to be so readily prepared. It was clear that the Commander knew exactly where to go and what to do at any given point in time. She was by no means perfect, but she was pretty damn good.

The Commander was now making her way over to Jacob, who was still sitting, nursing his shoulder. Shepard crouched before him and applied some medi-gel, to which he thanked her. She nodded and helped him to his feet, looking over at the sentinel. "Are you alright, Miranda?"

"Fine, Commander," she responded, toying with a hole that had sliced the side of her uniform. Thankfully it had only gotten the material.

Shepard smiled. "We're a good team. You really think we need anyone else to take on the Collectors?"

"Yes," both Jacob and Miranda responded in unison.

Shepard laughed, throwing both of her hands up. "Fine, fine, not the time for jokes. Still have to turn the air back on. Let's move out. My guess is that Daniel's nearby."

They followed Shepard to a hallway with two doors. Shepard eyed them for a moment before sneaking over to the left one and listening as best as she could. Giving the signal, Miranda went to one side of the door while she approached the other side. Jacob stood back, preparing to come around in case a surprise attack was needed. Once she was ready, Miranda nodded at Shepard and opened the door. The Commander swiftly turned inside and aimed her weapon at the Batarian that was holding Daniel at gunpoint.

The Batarian's assistant drew his weapon and Shepard watched as they tried to hide their panic. "Don't move or we'll shoot him!" he shouted, aiming his pistol at the scientist, who cringed and shut his eyes.

"You'll hit the ground before you can even pull the trigger," Shepard taunted, gesturing to the medical kits by Daniel's side. "Why do you want to kill this guy, anyway? He's trying to help."

"Lies! He's releasing the plague into the vents!"

"Right…this explains why he's in Vorcha territory. They're immune, you idiots."

The Batarian faltered for a moment and Shepard smirked. "Why don't you let him go? Put the guns down."

"If I do…will you let us go?" The Batarian looked over at her hopefully, with a slightly scared expression. Miranda tightened her jaw in expectations. She was normally an excellent judge of character, but she couldn't for the life of her read Shepard's current expression. Shepard paused for longer than necessary before giving a single nod.

"You have my word."

The Batarian looked at Daniel for another minute before lowering his weapon, instructing his partner to do the same. "Okay, so can we go now?"

Shepard cocked her pistol and everyone jumped at the sound. She pointed it at the Batarian for another moment before dropping it to her side. "We had a deal," she responded almost angrily. The Batarian looked taken aback.

"Human nobility. I didn't think such a thing existed. Especially since you all seem to worship the Butcher of Torfan."

Miranda saw Shepard twitch, her hand instinctively going for her pistol. But before the Commander could grab it, Miranda pointed her gun back at them. "We said you could live, not stick around for conversation. Go."

Fearful once more, the Batarians jogged out of the room. Miranda lowered her weapon and looked to Shepard determined to be formal. "I apologize if I overstepped my bounds, but after reading the reports on Torfan, I wasn't sure what to expect."

Shepard didn't look at her, and her face seemed plastered in a permanent scowl. "Nice to know you can read," she muttered to the sentinel before pushing past her and heading over to the assistant, who was still shaking.

"I thought for a second you were gonna sh-shoot them," he stuttered, rubbing his hands together.

Shepard had half a mind to punch him out, being the third one that questioned her authority in the past few hours, but instead she jerked her thumb behind her. "The path to Mordin's is clear. Get going." Daniel didn't have to be told twice as he scurried out the door.

"Now that he's gone, does anyone else have anything to say about the way I lead?" Shepard's tone was intimidating, but Miranda could just make out the hurt behind her eyes. Emotions were always getting in the way. Even the infamous Commander Shepard wasn't immune. She knew she should have installed a control chip. Damn the Illusive Man for his input. Neither operative said anything and Shepard glared at the both of them, still clearly upset. "Let's move out, then."

0-0-0-0-0

Back at the clinic, Mordin was muttering to himself about progress and Collectors and the plague. Shepard didn't care enough to follow him, but did start paying attention when he mentioned the Batarians David encountered.

"Risky, letting them go. I would have killed them, myself," he said more to himself than anyone else.

Shepard smiled, casting a sideways look at Miranda. "I think I'm going to like you, Mordin. Are you ready to go."

"Will be soon. A few things to clear up. Meet you on your ship soon," he finished, turning back to his computer.

Shepard nodded and with a wave of her hand, they started walking out of the quarantine zone. Along the way, Shepard stopped down a deserted street, and let her shoulders fall with a heavy sigh. She turned to face them and Miranda knew immediately that she was about to apologize. For some reason, this angered her. An apology didn't fix everything, and it certainly didn't wipe her slate clean for future use. Someone had to tell the Commander no. And judging by the look on Jacob's face, it was going to have to be her.

"Look, guys, I'm sorry about—

"Shepard, if we have to get an apology every time you do something stupid, we'll never get anything done. So instead of apologizing, why don't you try to stop the problem before it starts?" Miranda spit out, crossing her arms angrily and furrowing her brow.

Shepard's mouth was still hanging open slightly from her interrupted apology, but it quickly closed, the sound of her teeth gnawing together filling the silent street. "Don't you think I'm working on it? I saved those Batarians earlier! Just to keep you two pansies happy."

"The only reason they're still alive is because I got them out of there before you could draw your weapon. Honestly, Shepard, the psych reports said that you were over Torfan and had accepted Mindoir. It's not looking like it."

In two big strides, Shepard was upon Miranda, pushing her back into the wall. Her eyes were hard and focused and Miranda could feel the Commander's hot breath on her lips, as she tried to even her breathing. She could feel the armor pressing against her chest, heat radiating through it and onto her, causing her stomach to sweat just a bit. At least, she assumed it was the heat.

"I am over Mindoir…and I am over Torfan. You can read as much as you want about it, Lawson, but you weren't there. Don't you dare assume to know anything about me because of it. I…am…fine."

Miranda glared back at Shepard, placing her hands on her chest and heaving her off. Shepard took a couple of steps back while Miranda continued leaning against the wall as if it was her idea in the first place. "Of course, Commander, you're fine," she said sardonically, waving her hand to her left.

Shepard's eyes followed her movements and came to rest on the sick Batarian before. He was dead, crumpled in the same position she'd left him in. Shepard looked at him for a moment, the fear still frozen into his dead eyes as he presumably saw his miserable life flashing before him, the last moment being the woman with medi-gel walking away. When she looked again at Miranda, the sentinel could have sworn she saw tears in her eyes. They were blinked away in an instant but it didn't stop the aching that filled Miranda's chest. It made no sense. She'd been hurtful more times than anyone could count, but this was one of the few times when she considered regretting it.

However, she didn't have long to dwell on it, before Shepard shook her head and started heading back down the street. Jacob extended his hand to Miranda, who accepted it and lifted herself off of the wall. The action gave them a bit of space from the Commander, which they all needed.

On the way, Miranda considered the mission. The Batarians aside, it had gone off without a hitch. There was no need to doubt her combat skills. Yet her desire to seemingly kill everyone that pissed her off was going to pose a problem. As they boarded the Normandy Miranda decided that a meeting with the Illusive Man was in order. A chip could still be implanted. She could fix this. And she would.


	4. Awestruck

Awestruck

"Miranda, I appreciate your concern for Shepard, but I've already said no to the chip once. My mind will not change until I have proper evidence she can't control herself," the Illusive Man answered plainly as he took a drag from his cigarette.

"It's not concern for Shepard," Miranda responded quickly, raising an eyebrow at his incredulous glance. "It's concern for the entire galaxy. I assume you read the report on Omega?"

"I did. I read about Shepard's interactions with the Batarians. Frankly, I was impressed with the way she handled them, given her past."

"Sure, she may not have killed two out of three that weren't attacking us, but she would have had I not stopped her!"

"You don't know that for certain."

Miranda crossed her arms across her chest, watching as the Illusive Man stared at the assets she'd just enhanced. "Batarians aside, she was still extremely hostile towards me and Jacob for the entire mission. She didn't earn any loyalty points with me and certainly not with Jacob. How are we supposed to trust this woman who can't even control her own emotions?"

"Not all are built like you, Miranda," he returned, exhaling smoke from his nostrils. "Your emotional suppression is impressive, but Shepard's a real person with real problems and you have to understand that."

Miranda felt her cheeks starting to glow a light red as she felt the anger swell up inside of her. He always knew the best ways to dig her deeply. "What do you mean by that?" she growled between clenched teeth. He smiled at her as if he'd done nothing wrong and she felt the rage growing stronger. She longed to be in that room with him, just so she could smack him across the head, tousling his perfectly slicked back hair. But such ideas were preposterous and immature, much like Shepard, so she let them go.

"Come, Miranda, I meant no harm. You're my most trusted agent. I thought we were close enough for a little banter, but I guess I was wrong. We're not implanting Shepard. I don't want to hear any more about. Go after Archangel next. I've a feeling his presence will…comfort Shepard."

Miranda opened her mouth to argue but the transmission was lost, the walls of the hologram fading down around her. She sighed, absentmindedly popping her knuckles as she stared at her feet, wondering what to do from here. Archangel, of course, but that wasn't what she was talking about. How did she go about dealing with Shepard? Whoever Archangel was, he wasn't here now and there was no guaranteeing that he would be able to help Shepard if he did agree to this mission. She had to get the proof to install a chip.

The sentinel's thoughts then flickered to the Yeoman. Perhaps she could help Shepard; she did have a degree in psychology, after all. Miranda almost snorted at the thought. A bachelor's degree from a colonist university hardly counted as an education. For the life of her, Miranda could never figure out why she was chosen for this mission as opposed to someone with better credentials. Then again, Kelly was very pretty. And the way the Illusive Man had stared at her chest earlier today hinted to the operative that maybe he wasn't as professional as they all thought. Either way, Kelly was here now, and it was time to put her to good use.

0-0-0-0-0

Kelly Chambers was situated where she always was, at a terminal near the galaxy map. She was vigorously typing but Miranda couldn't imagine it was anything of importance. Shepard was across from her, glancing at her own terminal. Her eyes flickered to Miranda when she stepped off the elevator, but she made no response otherwise.

Miranda watched the redhead in front of her as she neared, remembering the conversation she'd walked in on between the Yeoman and Shepard. She hated public flirting. It was so demeaning. They may as well have been hooting around and showing their display of feathers for all it mattered. Jealousy flared up as Miranda remembered Shepard's cocky grin, those green eyes roving over the Yeoman's willing body. It was disgusting. It was shameful. And now she was angry. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Miranda straightened her posture and spoke.

"Miss Chambers," she said professionally, if a bit too quickly to be polite.

Kelly jumped and looked over at Shepard for support, but the Commander seemed fully intent on ignoring anything that had to with Miranda, so she turned and faced the sentinel. "Y-yes, ma'am?"

"I'd like a word." Miranda flicked a single finger, a motion for Kelly to follow, and headed to the lab, making sure to jut her hips just a bit more than necessary. When she turned for the door to open, she noticed Shepard staring at them, the tiniest flicker of jealousy glowing in those eyes. Miranda smirked at it, but couldn't quite tell if she was jealous of her or Kelly. The door opened before she could figure it out and they stepped into the tiny alcove of the lab.

Kelly looked uneasy, as if she was a puppy about to get kicked. Miranda wondered if she and Jacob were the only ones with adult level maturity on this entire ship but thought it best to let it go. No use in hurting the Yeoman's feelings before asking a favor. Mordin looked up at their entrance but paid them no mind, vigorously working on what Miranda hoped was a seeker swarm repellant. He wouldn't eavesdrop, and if he did, his profile didn't suggest gossip. He wouldn't be a problem.

"Chambers, what can you tell me about Shepard's current emotional state," she said quickly, furrowing her brow and taking a step closer.

Kelly flushed and fumbled with her hands, trying to pull the right words. Normally, she was confident in herself and in her work, but Miranda took the normalcy out of any given situation. "S-she seems stable. She hides her past as much as she can but that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't coping with it and—

"Well, she isn't coping with it," Miranda interrupted, taking a step back when she saw the Yeoman jump at her voice…again. "I want you to analyze her further. See if you can get her to talk about Mindoir or Torfan. We need to get her fixed before any more problems arise. Read the report for Omega and get started. I expect a report on it in two sun cycles. Let me know if you get something before then." Miranda turned to leave but stopped short when she heard the Yeoman calling her name.

Kelly licked her lips anxiously but her brow was furrowed in a confidence Miranda was pleased to see. "Miss Lawson, I can't just ask her about something like that. She has to gain my trust first. I don't know what I can get for you in two days' time."

Miranda smirked, the tiny ball of jealousy flaring up again. "Really? You two seemed very close the other day. And unless I misjudged your intentions with the Commander, pillow talk really is the most trusting sort of talk, isn't it?"

Kelly flushed a dark crimson and looked down. It only caused Miranda's smile to grow wider. "I don't care what you or the Commander does on your spare time so long as it doesn't affect the mission. Two sun cycles. Just give me what you can. We need to get the Commander under control." Before Kelly could respond, Miranda headed out the door.

Shepard looked up at her as she headed towards the elevator. Miranda gave her most evil and watched as Shepard quirked her brow, as if accepting some unspoken competition. Rolling her eyes, Miranda stepped into the elevator and headed down to her office. She needed to prepare a bit before they went to Omega for a second time to pick up Archangel.

0-0-0-0-0

Despite how much she wanted to deny it, Miranda had to admit that this mission was going on rather well. Shooting and killing was part of this mission, but Mordin proved to be very effective on the battlefield. The STG had clearly done him well. Garrus had been a surprise for the sentinel as well. Apparently, it was just one more thing the Illusive Man had kept from her. However, the gleeful, almost childlike grin on Shepard's face as she saw him was almost enough to make up for the omission. Almost.

All three of them had successfully shut down the mercs and were now closing the final door to keep the rest of them out. Taking out a nearby Vorcha, Shepard darted over some cartons and tapped the button, initiating its close. Miranda and Mordin stood out from cover and obliterated any other mercs that tried to race through before it shut, and succeeded in the door closing. Shepard smiled at the both of them before Garrus interrupted their com, asking for backup.

Miranda watched as Shepard's expression changed into one she hadn't really seen before. It was intense, defiant, and overall protective. This fight was sure to get interesting. They had managed to make it out of the tunnels fast enough to take out most of the mercs, but Garm was still making his way up to Garrus and quickly. The sentinel stepped out from a pillar and took down two varren coming their way, before blasting a hole through another merc. Mordin incinerated a group of them and Miranda shouted for Shepard to go, providing cover as the Commander raced up the steps to save her friend, who wasn't sounding too good, to the com chatter.

The com chatter turned to gunfire and groans and screams and cursing as Miranda and Mordin kept anyone else from coming up the stairs. The sentinel felt a weight settling in her stomach as she heard Shepard fighting upstairs. She wanted desperately to turn her com off, but knew that she couldn't. She needed to listen for signs of anything—

Shepard gave a shout of pain then, and there was the sound of someone crumpling to the floor. Making her decision, Miranda raced out of cover, thankful that Mordin, while he had no idea what was going on, provided excellent cover for her as she reached the stairs and took them three at a time. Once there she rounded the corner and dropped to a crouch, peering around into the room where Garrus, Shepard, and Garm supposedly were.

She found Shepard easily and breathed a sigh of relief, daring her eyes to close for just a moment. Her shields were down, and she looked to be worse for the wear, but she was alive. Nothing a little medi-gel and her armor couldn't fix. It would just take some time. Garrus, on the other hand, was barely standing as the Krogan kept charging and firing into him.

The sentinel stood and raced across the room to Shepard, firing her SMG to provide cover and obliterate the barrier of the Krogan, who turned just in time to see Miranda drop down behind the sofa Shepard was slumped against. Her eyes were half opened, but they focused once Miranda came into view. She smiled at her and Miranda couldn't help but return it as she supplied medi-gel to her wounded Commander.

"Garrus, get Garrus…" Shepard said weakly before Miranda placed her hand gently over Shepard's mouth.

"Don't worry, Commander. I've got it covered. Heal."

Shepard nodded, closing her eyes as Miranda stood and warped the Krogan that was now fully focused on her. Garrus was on the ground, but he appeared to be breathing, and the cease in gunfire downstairs meant that Mordin should be showing up any minute. Miranda smirked as Garm tried to charge her, and she darted out of the way just in time, watching as he slammed into the wall. She took the opportunity to fire her SMG at him while he situated himself, and hit him with another warp. Coming around the corner and darting behind cover, Mordin incinerated the Krogan within an inch of his life. Miranda shot him once more and he fell to the ground. She nodded at Mordin, who returned it before heading over to Garrus, who was attempting to stand.

Miranda then went back to the Commander, who looked much more alert. A few more moments and she'd be fit for combat again. Shepard smiled as the sentinel kneeled down beside her, omni-tool ready in case she needed more medi-gel. "I wasn't expecting a barrier on a Blood Pack Krogan," she mentioned almost ashamedly but also with clear disappointment. "My reave is rusty at best."

"No one saw that coming," Miranda assured, unsure of where this calm around the Commander came from. "Garrus was taken by surprise as well."

"Garrus!" Shepard shouted, shooting up and rounding the corner. But Garrus was already standing, smirking at her as she headed over.

"Surely you didn't think a few mercs could take me down, Shepard?" he asked, his voice gritty but also with an air of calm that seemed to be contagious. Miranda looked him up and down as the Commander laughed. He held the rifle in his hands like it was attached to him. That was good. He also stood with the straightened discipline of a soldier. Overall, Garrus looked like an excellent addition to the crew, providing he took Shepard up on her offer. But the way the two were around each other, it didn't seem like it was going to be a problem.

Something black caught the corner of Shepard's eyes and her thoughts immediately went to Miranda, standing out in the open with her shields on standby. The Commander lunged at her, knocking her to the ground as a barrage of gunfire filled the room, Tarek's enraged shouting blasting over the intercom. The gunship wasn't in top condition, Shepard had made sure of that, but it was still flying, and it was still shooting. Mordin had merely dropped to his knees, positioning himself behind cover easily. Garrus on the other hand, caught the full brunt of the bullets, falling over in his own blood and just barely making it over behind a sofa.

Miranda was still pinned on the ground, Shepard on top of her, each looking at the surprised expression in each other's eyes. "You okay, Lawson?" Shepard asked, either not noticing or not caring to take her hand off of the sentinel's hip. Miranda nodded quickly, feeling the heat in her hips and quickly jumped up, taking fire at the gunship.

It was then that Shepard saw Garrus just a few feet away from her, losing a hell of a lot of blood. Anger swelled within her as she saw Garrus there, and her mind imagined Miranda in the same position, had she not knocked her out of the way. Anger turned to rage as Shepard cocked her gun and unleashed an all-out assault on the gunship.

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda sat in her office, typing away on the report about Archangel. Shepard had managed to take the gunship out quickly enough that Garrus could be saved. He'd be a little sore, and his face would never look quite the same, but it was a lot better than being dead. The sentinel's thoughts travelled to the Commander, and the way she'd gotten her out of the way. Having the Commander's hands on her hips had felt…warm, protective. Even in the midst of the firefight Miranda had lost her thoughts momentarily at their precarious positioning. It was embarrassing, pathetic. Here she was acting like some prepubescent girl just because someone touched her. She'd never hear the end of it from her father.

Truthfully, that situation, and her resulting…emotions, could have resulted from anyone touching her on her hips. It was a simple physical response to stimuli. She was one to be looked at, not touched, so it caused a reaction. Science. Simple as that.

Miranda sighed and went back to typing, trying desperately to get the red out of her cheeks by focusing on other matters. However, it proved difficult, given that the report she was working consisted of Shepard. As she finished up a paragraph, her door opened and the Commander in question sauntered through.

Shepard gave a ghost of a smile as she entered, almost nervous. Miranda gave a polite nod before going back to her work. "Commander, what can I do for you?"

Shepard sat down in one of the chairs across her XO and crossed her legs. "I know that you didn't want me to apologize anymore, but this one is warranted. Besides, I haven't apologized in a long time." She gave Miranda a wink and the sentinel looked away to send of her report. It caused the Commander's grin to broaden and she sat forward in her chair. "I just wanted to say that at the beginning of all of this, I had my doubts. I didn't trust you. And I…acted out of line. But what you did on Omega…there's no question. So, I'm sorry for my doubts."

Miranda raised an eyebrow, flashing the Commander a cocky smile. "Are you saying you trust me?"

"I can't say it out loud. Might cause the end of the world."

Miranda rolled her eyes as the Commander chuckled. "A brief glimpse of maturity and professionalism…and then a joke. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up."

The Commander ran her tongue across her lips as she smiled again, settling back down in the chair. Miranda closed her computer, knowing she wouldn't get any work done with Shepard here anyway. "Tell me about yourself, Miranda," Shepard asked politely, searching the sentinel's eyes for hesitance.

Miranda smirked to hide the grimace that wanted to form. She owed it to Shepard to talk about herself. She knew that. But it was still hard. Well, Shepard didn't need the hard story anyway, just the facts. "Well, I'm genetically superior to the average human. I'll probably live twice as long, heal quickly, and am faster and stronger. My biotics are also very impressive for a human. I was designed to be perfect."

"And humble," Shepard retorted, but the XO could see the lightness in her eyes.

"Just stating facts, Shepard. Surely someone as… accomplished as you are isn't intimidated?" She raised her eyebrows at the Commander, who smiled.

"I don't know if intimidation is the right word."

"No?"

"Awestruck, maybe…yes, that seems more fitting."

Miranda took a deep breath, trying to decipher the meaning behind the Commander's eyes. She looked so confident, so relaxed. So was Miranda meant to take that seriously, or no? The sentinel wasn't quite sure, so she simply smiled. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Commander?"

"That'll be all for now. I've set a course for the Purgatory. We'll be there tomorrow morning. I hope you sleep well, if you do," Shepard added, glancing behind Miranda to the bed that looked to be ill-used. Miranda also looked back at the bed and when she turned around, Shepard was already heading out the doors. Miranda shook her head, cursing herself. She was being stupid, attempting to…well, she didn't even know what she was attempting, but it wasn't right and it wasn't smart. Miranda's thoughts flashed briefly to her father, wondering what insults he would toss at her and what his level of patronization would be. Letting her strong shoulders fall, Miranda opened her computer back up and pulled up the search engine.

Shepard smiled to herself as she headed to the elevator. She was being a tease, and she knew it, but Miranda's lack of negative reaction was too good to ignore. Perhaps the feelings weren't so unrequited. However, even if they weren't, there was no way Miranda would engage in anything that wasn't related to the mission. Shepard sighed as the elevator doors opened, revealing the Yeoman.

"Chambers," Shepard announced happily as the Yeoman blushed and moved to the side to let the Commander in.

"You can call me Kelly, Commander."

"Okay, Kelly, how are you?"

"I'm…fine, Commander. Thank you."

Shepard watched as the flirtatious Yeoman was suddenly not so flirtatious. Her eyebrow rose curiously and she reached out to stop the elevator. "Did I do something wrong, Yeoman?"

Kelly's eyes finally moved from where they were fixated on her feet and met the Commander's eyes. She looked surprised, and a little hurt. "No, why would you think that?"

"Well…forgive me if I misunderstood, but I thought you liked to flirt with me."

Kelly smiled, blushing, and Shepard smiled back, nearing her. "So what makes the Yeoman shy all of a sudden?"

"I…well," Kelly licked her lips, rubbing her palms together. "I guess I just never thought you were truly interested."

"How about we go to dinner tomorrow night, after I pick up the new recruit?" Shepard said quickly, closing the distance between her and the Yeoman. Miranda was…unobtainable. She had to accept this fact and move on. And Kelly was making it all too easy to be irresistible. Her shyness had reminded the Commander of Liara, and it brought back a warm feeling to think of it. She'd missed out on Liara, she wasn't about to do it again with the Yeoman.

Kelly smiled and nodded heavily. "I'd like that, Commander." 


	5. Regrets

Regrets

Again, Shepard found herself wishing she'd had a credit for every simple mission turned fucked up. Warden Kuril had reneged on his deal and now Jack, a supposed super biotic and their next recruit, was on a rampage through the facility. Just another day at the office, apparently. Shepard smirked to herself as she aimed her rifle at Kuril, who was now at a loss of shield boosters, thanks to the Commander and her aim. Cloaking herself while she aimed so as not to receive fire, Shepard shot a few rounds directly at his face, watching as his shields went down to a dwindling glimmer. She looked to Miranda, who was next to her and the sentinel nodded, overloading the last of his shields. Shepard and Garrus then both took aim and fired and Kuril fell to the floor, simple as that.

Shepard stood and surveyed the room for any remaining enemies but found none. She nodded at her two squad mates and they stood, though still on their guard, and headed out the door. Jack was running out of space in the shape, and the guards were nearly completely annihilated. It wouldn't be long until they crossed paths and could get the hell off of the ship. Shepard just hoped she'd have time for a shower before her dinner date with the Yeoman.

Rounding a corner, Shepard and her squad watched as Jack appeared to be having a major freak out at the sight of the Normandy. She was screaming something, but they were too far away to make it out. For all Shepard knew, looking at this sickeningly skinny, tattooed woman with a shaved head, it could be incoherencies. Looking to her right, she noticed that Miranda's face had contorted into contempt and disgust. It wasn't surprising, but it was amusing. Shepard smirked at her and they closed the distance between the biotic.

Jack was still in her rampage when a shot was fired to her right. She jerked her head and saw a Blue Sun crumple to the floor. Then she turned and glared at the approaching Commander. "What the hell do you want?" she shouted, emphasizing the curse word. Miranda wondered the purpose at that. Did it make her feel more hardcore? As if she needed any more overcompensation for that. However, the look in Shepard's eyes at the convict's harsh words told the sentinel that this fight was far from over.

"Fuck you. I'll accept a thank you for saving your ass." Shepard crossed her arms, smirking as Jack glared at her.

"They were fucking dead anyway. You just saved me some time. What the fuck do you want?"

"I need your biotics for a very important and suicidal mission coming up. Sounds right up your alley," Shepard replied, relaxing her posture just a bit.

Jack's biotics flared and Miranda felt her finger tightening on the trigger. "You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me out of here? Do you think I'm stupid?"

Shepard bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. "Is that a trick question?"

"We could just knock her out and take her," Miranda offered, eyeing Garrus, who nodded willingly. Shepard considered this for a moment and shrugged.

"Hopefully it won't come to that. Are you gonna come the easy way or the hard way, Jack?

Jack thought it over for a moment, her eyes looking disdainfully at Miranda. Shepard noticed this and switched the weight on her foot, leaning closer to the sentinel, just in case. Jack raised her eyebrow then and eyed the Commander. "You want me to come along… I want access to Cerberus files. They did some bad shit to me when I was a kid, and I want to see it writing."

Shepard looked to Garrus and then nodded. "I'll give you full access."

"Shepard, you're not authorized to that," Miranda returned quickly, knowing that she'd rather die than give this freak in front of her anything. Jack smiled and neared the sentinel.

"Oh, it upsets the cheerleader. That's even better," Jack said, reaching up to stroke Miranda's cheek, in hopes of unsettling her. She no more than lifted her finger when she received an elbow to the jaw from Shepard. Miranda stood back and watched as Jack staggered for a moment, her biotics springing back to life. She made to lunge at Shepard, but didn't get far as Garrus' concussive shot knocked her backwards and unconscious.

Shepard holstered her gun then and nodded to Garrus, who grabbed the biotic and lifted her over his shoulder surprisingly gently. He and Shepard then turned and started to head to the Normandy. "Shepard," Miranda called, stopping the Commander in her tracks and causing her to turn around. "She won't be very happy when she comes to, and I'd hate for her to do to the Normandy what she did to this place."

Shepard nodded slowly and sighed, heading over to the sentinel. "She won't be happy. That's why I need you to give her access to the files."

"You're not serious." Miranda's nostrils flared as she raised an angered eyebrow at the Commander.

"Look, I'm not happy about it either. But waking up with exactly what you want is better than waking up in what seems like another prison. If you don't want her ripping out the hull of the Normandy, you have to." Shepard's eyes were serious, but light. Miranda knew that if she really wanted to, she could convince the Commander otherwise, but she didn't have the energy for it.

"Fine, Commander," she said through gritted teeth before following Garrus to the Normandy. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Me too," Shepard answered, following the sentinel out the door.

0-0-0-0-0

Jack came to in the med bay. She looked around for a minute, eyes darting slowly back and forth until they lay on Shepard. Jack's biotics flared instantly but Shepard, obviously without weapons and armor, raised her hands in defeat. "Easy, Jack. I know you're probably pissed, but I have a present for you. It's right there on the table." Shepard pointed a finger and Jack followed it suspiciously until it landed on a pile of data pads. Still keeping one eye on the Commander, Jack opened one up and started reading. It looked legitimate.

"Surprised you came through, especially after elbowing me in the face."

"Yeah, well, don't assault my crewmembers."

"Fuck you, did it look like an assault? I just wanted to touch the bitch, scare her a bit."

Shepard crossed her arms. "Well she's your squad mate now. Can I trust you two to be civil to each other?"

Jack scoffed, standing up and picking up the data pads. "I don't owe you shit…the fuck's your name?"

"Shepard."

"I don't owe you shit, Shepard. Keep her away from me, and I won't go seeking her out. But I won't promise any more than that."

"We'll see about that," Shepard answered, walking her to the door. "We've set up a room for you down in engineering. Something tells me you don't like a lot of thru-traffic."

Jack glared at her but made no protest as she walked out of the med bay towards the elevator. Exchanging a look with Chakwas, Shepard smiled and headed out onto the deck. Her shower already taken care of, she had a few hours before her dinner date with Kelly. Her eyes drifted to Miranda's office. Truthfully, she needed to speak to Miranda again, about Jack, the Illusive Man, and the files and so on. So it wasn't like she was coming uninvited. Her decision made, Shepard smiled to herself and walked over to the room, knocking twice.

The door opened quickly and as it did Shepard heard the sound of music just before it was shut off. Miranda looked up from her computer and nodded at the Commander, who returned it. "Did I interrupt your listening?" she asked, eyeing the chair in front of her.

Miranda waved her hand, an invitation to sit, and Shepard took it. "I was listening to classical music. It relaxes me. Today was a…tiring day."

"I didn't think you could get tired," Shepard answered with a smile.

"Well, it takes more effort than needed for most humans, but it does happen."

"What were you listening to?"

"Neilsen."

Shepard smiled and Miranda watched the faint blush that crept into the Commander's cheeks. "I'm afraid I don't know much about classical music. In fact, I know nothing at all."

Slightly surprised by this, Miranda raised her eyebrows. "No? Beethoven…Mozart…they don't ring a bell?"

Shepard chuckled, "Was that a pun, Miss Lawson?"

Miranda stared at her for a moment before she let her eyes roll. "Well done, Shepard, a joke that actually was humorous. Granted, puns are the lowest form of humor, but I'm still impressed."

"You know, I've heard that before, and it offends me. Surely fart jokes are the lowest form of humor. I love puns. They're…punny."

Miranda smiled and Shepard cleared her throat. "So, music, is classical your favorite?"

"It's what I can listen to the most. Humans, in all their imperfections, making instruments and playing them to near perfection is…very beautiful to me."

Shepard smiled at that, looking at how relaxed the sentinel was when she spoke of this. It was nice to see her shoulders fall, even if it was just for a moment. "May I hear what you were listening to?"

Miranda raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Why?"

Shepard blinked a few times then shrugged. "I just…wanted to hear it. Wanted to hear what classical music sounded like." The Commander lowered her head a bit, color rising to her cheeks again. Miranda watched her for a moment as she fiddled with her hands, popping her knuckles in the same style she did. Then she sighed and went to her computer, switching the song back on.

Shepard jumped at the sudden noise but then seemed to focus, listening to the music. The flute and strings came together happily…but almost bittersweet. It gave Shepard the image of two lovers parting. The music lifted then after a bit…maybe the lovers reuniting. Shepard smiled at that thought and closed her eyes, listening until the song faded and ended. Miranda paused it then, looking up almost nervously at Shepard, who opened her eyes again.

"That was…great. I never thought I'd like something like that," Shepard said enthusiastically, eyeing the computer in hopes that Miranda would play more.

"Something like that?" Miranda inquired. She'd seen Shepard's face during the movement. She could tell that the Commander was actually feeling something as the song was being played. It was rare to find a person that did that anymore, especially with classical music.

"Something so…light?" Shepard offered, watching as Miranda nodded. "I was thinking to myself how bittersweet it sounded. Like two lovers parting and reuniting. Is that stupid? I bet that wasn't what he meant at all." Shepard shook her head, going to pop her knuckles but having no luck since she'd just recently done them. Miranda smiled while the Commander wasn't looking and sat in the chair next to her, as opposed to the one at her desk.

"Actually, the point of classical music is simply to feel it. The interpretation is your own."

Shepard looked up, her eyes narrowing. "You're just humoring me."

"When have I ever done that and why would I start now?"

"Good point," Shepard returned with a smile.

Miranda returned it and Shepard watched as a devious smirk crossed the sentinel's lips. She stood and headed back over to her computer and Shepard watched as she searched for a moment, then pulled up the piece she wanted, playing it and going back to sit next to Shepard. "Maybe this one will be more up your alley. This is Orff."

Shepard listened as this song presented a choir. Intensely rhythmic and almost shrill as they started, like they were chanting an ancient prophecy. The sound got her riled up. Then the intensity died, becoming more anxious as the singers had quick, fiery notes. Shepard could feel the intensity rising in her gut. Every time she thought that they were going to unleash again, another line came. The Commander wasn't sure how much more she could take.

Then it came, the thundering drum, the choir singing as loudly as they could. Shepard closed her eyes and immersed herself in a battle, landing a critical strike with each beat of the drum. An ending came about with roaring trumpets and the Commander knew that she was triumphant. It went on for another few minutes, growing softer and louder, desperate and then triumphant. Shepard kept her eyes closed the entire time, occasionally keeping time with her foot or hand.

Miranda watched her in awe. She couldn't remember the last time music had taken her away the way it was doing with Shepard. It must have been when she was younger and first exposed to it. Now she was so used to it that while it was lovely, it no longer evoked the strong feelings it once had. The sentinel couldn't imagine how Shepard had gone so long without listening to classical music. When she'd first mentioned Neilsen's name, she have expected Shepard her to ask her which symphony or movement. But she was glad that she could be the first to expose the Commander to such art, and judging by the look on her face, Shepard was glad too.

The song ended and Shepard opened her eyes slowly, as if she'd been in a trance. In fact, she wouldn't argue that she was. Everything was so synthetic nowadays that Shepard found herself more often than not ignoring music. It was always the same thumping or sharp metallic sound. But this, this was music. She found Miranda smiling at her once more and licked her lips. "Can music be orgasmic?"

Shepard pursed her lips almost instantly. She hadn't meant to be so crude. But the music made her do it. Somehow, she didn't think that Miranda would believe that. However, much to the Commander's surprise, Miranda's eyes only darkened to what could be described as sultry. "This kind of music can be, yes," she answered, much to the Commander's delight.

Shepard's grin broadened before she pursed her lips into a pout, holding up a single finger. "One more, please? Your choice."

Miranda rolled her eyes to hide the joy and stood up once more, sifting through her files. She smiled when she came upon Mozart's Requiem and pressed play. "This is one of the most famous pieces of all time. Mozart was writing music at five years old."

Shepard lifted her eyebrows, impressed, and watched Miranda take a seat next to her once more. The song started out somberly, like a wailing child. Shepard listened but didn't yet close her eyes, waiting for the intensity she was sure was coming. And it did, rising and rising in until the chorus really started going. Shepard closed her eyes, listening to the almost chaotic way they were singing, as if panicked, or scared…maybe they were begging for mercy.

Shepard's already closed eyes clenched tighter and she could see Mindoir. She was under the debris again, watching the flames rise around her, the smoke filling her lungs as everyone screamed in chorus. Batarians fighting and pulling, shooting and killing everyone that came in their way. The voices started harmonizing and everything began moving in slow motion.

She felt the sickness rising in her throat as the Batarian raised his leg bringing down into her mother's face. The trumpets sounded and the chorus screamed and she found she couldn't move to wipe the tears from her eyes. The debris was too crushing. She was too scared. If she had moved she could have saved her, but she didn't.

The men began to bellow in their song and she was catapulted to Torfan, gaining revenge for her family. Batarians were screaming now, falling, crying in slow motion. The look on her face was terrifying, coated in Batarian blood as she kept firing, kept exploding, kept punching until every damn Batarian lay at her feet. It made her feel like the Christian Jesus, walking on a pool of blood instead of water.

Angelic voices filled the air and Shepard was laying on a table, looking fuzzily up at Miranda, her angel. She thought she would regret that name but it seemed to fit all the more. But that ended quickly and she was back to Torfan, annihilating again and again no matter how much she pleaded for the memory to end.

The song faded into one of mourning, and it was dawn on Torfan. She was sticky all over from blood, and could smell the bodies starting to smell. She stepped on top of them as she walked back to the cruiser. No one spoke, no one looked at her, and no one could even manage to stand near her. She didn't blame them. She had a job to do and she'd done. And while no one would ever know it, she wished to hell that she could take it all back.

The music stopped, and her mind went blank.

She could feel her body shaking now, the drying tears cooling her cheeks, she was cold but her face was flushed and she could feel the sheen of sweat coating her body. Her jaw hurt. Had she been clenching her teeth again? She released the breath she realized she'd been holding and opened her eyes. There was metal everywhere. It wasn't Mindoir and it wasn't Torfan. A hand was placed on her shoulder and she jerked back, throwing a punch in the general direction.

Miranda suspected as such and caught the fist in her hand, grabbing Shepard's chin with the other hand and making her face the sentinel. "Shepard, look at me. Look at where you are," she said sternly, but professionally, as if she'd dealt with this sort of thing all her life. Shepard heard Miranda's voice and remembered the angel with the angelic music and suddenly the things she was seeing made sense. She was in Miranda's room. They had been listening to music and she…she got carried away.

Shepard's eyes found Miranda's but she couldn't look in them for too long. She was still hot and cold at the same time, sweaty, and it was hard to catch her breath. "I…I'm sorry," Shepard began as she made her way towards the door. However she didn't get so much as a step in before she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her back. "Oh no, you don't," Miranda said, turning her around and leading her behind her desk to sit on the bed. "You're not leaving until you've calmed down."

Shepard sighed tiredly as she sat down on the bed. She didn't even have the energy to be embarrassed anymore. The only emotions that were available to her were the ones that never seemed to leave her alone. Guilt, anger, pain, and sadness flooded into her mind, flashing bits and pieces of the worst moments of her life. She bit her bottom lip, noticing that Miranda had taken a seat beside her, but nothing more. "Why didn't you stop the music?" she asked, looking up at her XO.

Miranda looked into Shepard's red rimmed eyes, which went surprisingly well with her green irises. Her lips were a bit swollen, from biting on them and crying. She looked like a mess, but she still looked beautiful. The sentinel blinked slowly, reminding herself to remain professional. That was all this was, after all. "I didn't want to move while you were in your…state. I thought it might disturb you."

"I punched you…"

"Tried to."

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Miranda," Shepard said quickly, on the verge of tears. Miranda wanted to tell the Commander that she was okay, or make some sort of joke, or ridicule her. But despite all her wants, she reached out and wrapped both of her arms around the Commander.

Shepard tensed for a moment but found that she couldn't stop herself from embracing the sentinel; neither could she stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks. They held each other for a while, neither knowing why they were doing so. Shepard tried desperately to calm herself. This was no way for a Commander to be acting, ever. Especially in front of the woman that the most influence on the ship. But her thoughts were to no avail and she found she couldn't stop.

Miranda held her tightly, rubbing large circles on the Commander's back. Shepard was warm, but shaking. It nearly broke the sentinel's heart. How had she made it through all of those psych evaluations when she was clearly still not fit for duty. Perhaps she was fit for duty, Miranda thought, remembering Shepard's actions on the battlefield. She was a fine soldier, but no one checked to see how she was a person.

Miranda held her more tightly then. Did anyone care about Shepard? Not Commander Shepard but Shepard herself. The council barely thanked her for saving them, Anderson was too weak to stand up to Udina. Even Cerberus, who rebuilt her from the ground up, only cared about her as a fighter. Miranda felt a pang of nausea at that. For she had been just the same. She remembered leading Shepard out of Lazarus station, being so proud of the Commander and herself for her accomplishments. No one stood around to ask her how she was. There was a mission to get to.

Shepard seemed to have calmed a bit and Miranda pulled away, still keeping her arms on her to ensure the Commander that she was still there. "Shepard," she began slowly, watching as the Commander looked up at her, "do you want to talk about it?"

Shepard thought for a moment. No one had ever really asked her that. Sure, the psychologists had after Torfan, but that was more of a demand, forcing her to relive the entire trauma. She lied well to them. She was always a good liar. But she was a better soldier, and the psychologists were more than willing to pass her so long as the Alliance was willing to pay. She'd never told anyone that. She'd never wanted to, nor seen any reason to it. But now, looking up into Miranda's deep blue eyes and seeing more than someone just cold and hard, she found she wanted to. She wanted to tell Miranda everything.

And she did. They sat for a long time, Miranda listening patiently as Shepard fumbled her way through Mindoir and Torfan, shedding more than a few tears along the way. Miranda's face remained as stoic as ever, but Shepard could see there was no judgment in her eyes. And when she'd finished telling her story to someone who actually wanted to listen, she felt a great weight being lifted from her shoulders that she didn't even know was there until it was gone. It was suddenly much easier to breathe, and it was much more difficult to find the anger. Shepard knew she wasn't perfect yet, but she felt better than she had in a long time.

Shepard smiled at Miranda, who returned it softly before looking at the clock. "It's late, Shepard," she said quietly, watching as Shepard noted the early morning hour. The Commander nodded and attempted to stand, only to feel a hand on her shoulder, keeping it down. She looked over at her second in command and noticed that the harsh discipline had returned to her eyes. "I'd rather you stay here for the night. I won't be sleeping and I want to make sure that no outbursts arise."

If Shepard were in a clear state of mind, she would have found many flaws to that argument. Miranda knew this, but decided to place the bet on fatigue anyway. She ended up winning as Shepard merely nodded, kicked off her boots, and fell back onto the bed. Miranda watched her sleep for a moment and reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, stroking her finger down Shepard's jawline as she finished. The sentinel would have let her fingers linger longer were it not for a loud knock at her door.

Glaring, she quickly grabbed her pistol, just in case, and rushed to open the door so the knocking wouldn't wake the Commander up. Kelly stood on the other side of the door, looking panicked. Miranda glared at her and ushered them both out onto the deck, allowing the door to close behind her. "What is it, Chambers?" Miranda asked through clenched teeth.

"Miss Lawson, I can't find the Commander. EDI won't tell me where she is and we were supposed to meet for dinner, but she never showed and I'm worried about her," the Yeoman said quickly, fear evident in her voice.

Miranda felt the wave of jealousy in her voice at Kelly's mentioning of dinner and this time she did not try to quell it. This little nobody was only here because of her physical aspects. Miranda had made more progress with Shepard than Kelly would have in a lifetime. The sentinel was ashamed she even thought the Yeoman qualified.

"Shepard is fine. She is in my quarters and I have taken over her analysis. So you may return to your task of letting her know when she has an email. It's a very important job after all. Not one to be missed or looked over. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to tend to the Commander." Miranda flashed the shocked Yeoman an evil but also very sexy smile and sauntered back into her room, closing the door behind her.

Kelly stood dumbstruck for a moment, staring at the door and imagining all of the things Miranda and Shepard were doing in there. Then she felt angry…betrayed. She wouldn't have minded if Shepard and Miranda had gotten together, it was that they both seemed to lead her on. What was this, high school? Perhaps it wasn't Shepard's fault at all. Maybe Miranda had manipulated her into staying. The Commander certainly didn't seem the type to stand someone up. Kelly glared at the door as she headed back to her room. Miranda wouldn't be getting out of this one so easily.


	6. Control

Control

Miranda looked up from her workload and studied the clock. Shepard would be waking up soon, as well as the entirety of the crew. It was probably a good time to start thinking about what the hell she was doing with the Commander in her bedroom. Of course, Miranda and Shepard knew that nothing had happened between the two of them. At least, nothing that the rumors would suggest to. But whether they liked it or not, their relationship was suddenly very different.

The sentinel sighed to herself, shaking her head as she turned to look at the sleeping Commander, who hadn't moved all night. She was such an idiot. The words of her father came streaming through her mind again and she worked quickly to push them back to their faint whisper. She'd been a fool to get this close to the Commander. Loyalty and trust were one thing, but this was stupid, reckless, and selfish. And while Miranda Lawson was many things, selfish was not one of them, despite what others may have thought.

She gritted her teeth and stood from her chair. She needed to distance herself from the Commander. It would do them both good. They had no purpose becoming more than soldiers fighting for the same cause. Taking out a data pad, Miranda scribbled a note on it and laid it on her bedside table, making it flash to alert the Commander when she woke. She couldn't be in this room any longer. It was just a reminder of everything her father had always told her. Taking one last look at the sleeping Shepard, Miranda headed out the door, determined to get over whatever emotions she was feeling, be it friendship or something more.

The Commander woke a few hours later, though it was still early morning, and once her eyes adjusted to the scenery of the room she slowly sat up. It took a few moments for her to remember last night and justify waking in Miranda's bed. However the woman in question was nowhere to be found. Shepard twisted her mouth at the thought of her behavior last night. It wasn't right, and she hoped the sentinel wasn't too bothered by it. She'd have to make a note to speak with her some time. It was then that she noticed the flashing data pad to her left.

_Shepard,_

_Make no mention of last night, and I will do the same. There's a lot to do to prepare for the imminent Collector battle and the crew needs you at your best. Please work on your behavior during the missions._

She hadn't even signed it. Shepard glared a bit at the data pad and tossed it lightly back onto the table. Truthfully there was no reason to expect any less from Miranda, the ice queen of Cerberus. Sure, she had consoled Shepard the night before, but it wasn't like she had any choice. She was a sobbing wreck. For all the Commander knew, she could have been consoling her just enough to get her out of the room.

No.

No, that didn't make any sense, as Miranda had specifically asked her to stay. Shepard sighed and shook her head. She'd never understand women. Perhaps that was why she always fell for them. Well, if Miranda wanted space, Shepard would give it to her…for now. Smiling to herself, the Commander rose from the bed and straightened her clothes, heading out the door and to her captain's quarters for a much needed shower.

When the elevator doors finally opened, Shepard jumped at the sight of her Yeoman, looking just a bit restless. It was then that she remembered the dinner date she had completely forgotten about. Kelly watched as regret filled the Commander's eyes and allowed a light smile to grace her lips. She knew the Commander would feel terrible. It only proved her assertions that Miranda was behind the whole stand-up. Shepard stepped into the elevator, never taking her eyes off the Yeoman, speaking when the doors shut.

"Kelly, I am so, so sorry about last night. I really have no excuse but I didn't mean to—

Shepard was cut off by the sight of Kelly shaking her head. "Don't worry about it, Commander. I knew it must have been something important. No harm done."

"No…harm has been done. I feel terrible. Let me make it up to you. Breakfast?"

"I'm afraid I've already eaten."

"Lunch…dinner? I promise I'll show up. I'll even have EDI send me hourly reminders."

Kelly laughed, feeling her cheeks redden at the Commander's intensity. She was quick to feel guilt, and quick to try to remedy it. Not something she would have expected from the Butcher of Torfan. But needless to say, she had an answer to give.

"How about dinner? We're supposed to be docking in Illium tonight after this rendezvous at the Citadel. I know of a place. It's casual but really good…."

"Say no more," Shepard answered with a smile. "I'll meet up with you as soon as we dock."

0-0-0-0-0

"Commander Shepard, say the password and win a free prize!" an advertising station shouted to the Commander as she, Miranda, and Garrus exited the Normandy.

Miranda looked rather displeased at the loud mentioning of Shepard's name, but could do nothing about it now. Garrus could never really be read but Shepard clearly looked amused as she sauntered over to the station. "What's my prize?" she asked, crossing her arms lightly.

"Uh-uh, the password comes first," the hooded figure smirked, waving a large holographic finger in front of the Commander's face.

"But is the prize worth such information?"

The figure smiled then, revealing large, white teeth, and gave a single nod. "I assure you, Commander, the prize is the best of the best."

Shepard raised her eyebrows, intrigued, and looked over at her squad. Miranda looked to be positively fuming, but she appeared angry before they'd even stepped off of the Normandy, and Garrus was busy listening in on a basics Alliance training course. Smirking at her sentinel, Shepard turned back to the thief and said, "Silence is golden."

"A very wise choice; Kasumi Goto, at your service. The best thief in the business, and now in your command."

"I can tell you'll be very entertaining to have around," Shepard answered, watching as Kasumi made an odd expression.

"You look awfully weird talking to an advertisement," a voice chided from behind. Shepard turned and found the real Kasumi Goto standing just a few feet behind her, impish smirk on her face. The Commander smiled and offered her hand, which Kasumi shook eagerly.

"It's a pleasure to have you on board. Do you need help with your things?"

"My things are already aboard your ship, Commander," Kasumi answered, flashing a look to Miranda. "You may want to up your security, Miss Lawson, it was dreadfully easy doing so. I was disappointed I didn't come across more gunfire or alarms."

Miranda raised a perfect eyebrow in response, clearly not amused. "I'll look into it."

Kasumi nodded and then turned back to Shepard. "I'll let you finish your task at hand. When you have the chance, I'd like to discuss my terms with you. See you on the ship."

Before Shepard could respond, Kasumi disappeared in a flash of her cloaking device. Shepard looked at the spot where she once stood and chuckled to herself. "I like her."

"I expected a little more discretion from a 'master thief,'" Miranda responded, the last part of her sentence dripping with disdain. Shepard merely shrugged and bit her bottom lip jovially.

"We could use a bit of levity now and then. And since I'm not going to get it from my XO, I'll have to seek my entertainment elsewhere."

Miranda opened her mouth to give a witty retort but Shepard shook her head and turned to head into the Citadel. The sentinel could see Garrus' shoulders rolling up and down as he chuckled to himself made sure to shoot him a glare. He didn't appear all that intimidated—most likely Shepard's influence—but he did calm down.

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda couldn't help but be slightly amused as they left Anderson's office. The council had failed to see reason, yet again, despite their so called gratitude to Shepard for saving their lives, and had resulted in infuriating the Commander. Several snide insults down the road, she'd somehow gotten her Spectre status reinstated, though Miranda doubted it was anything more than a title to get the Commander off of the council's back. Anderson had been peaceful and neutral as usual. Miranda always thought him rather boring, but the man could get a job done. And he had politely bid her a farewell as Shepard stormed angrily out of his office.

Shepard was a few strides in front of the sentinel and Garrus, her boots kicking the ground more harshly than necessary. Neither of them thought it best to say something and followed obediently back to the ship. Once they'd reached the elevator, Shepard slammed her fist against the door, looking to her squad mates for support.

"Can you believe the nerve of them? I save their asses for god's sake! They'd be roasting in oblivion with Sovereign if it wasn't for me. 'Reapers,'" she mocked, holding the air quotes up as the Turian council member had and making a rather unattractive face.

Garrus laughed at that, and Miranda watched as the Commander seemed to relax, just a bit. "Don't take it so personally, Shepard. They're not supposed to be the protectors. We are," Garrus finished, leaning against the wall of the elevator. Shepard shrugged, still unconvinced, and looked to Miranda. She knew that she had meant to give the sentinel her space, but Miranda was one of the best to have at her side. Her skills were best suited to match the Commander's, mostly because she had what Shepard didn't. And to be fair, Shepard had hardly said a word to her the entire mission. She thought she was doing quite well, though Miranda still looked unhappy. However, where was the surprise in that?

"What do you think, Miranda? Is four billion credits not enough to show the severity of the situation?"

Miranda looked into Shepard's bright green eyes then, and shrugged dismissively. "Cerberus has never really sought out the council's approval. It makes no difference to us. You're alive, and we're going to stop the reapers. Did you want a pat on the back or another medal of honor?"

The XO hadn't really intended to use that harsh of a tone, but there was no way to take it back now and she watched the Commander's shoulders sink a bit as she gave a weak nod. "No, not recognition, just… we could be so much more prepared for this. We could be making bunkers, deploying troops, training colonies. Instead we're just letting everyone walk around in ignorant bliss. These people are going to die and—

"Only if we fail, Shepard," Miranda was quick to correct.

"Yeah, Commander, don't tell us you're already losing hope in my already outstanding abilities," Garrus joked, watching as the Commander tried to hide her smile.

"Fine, screw you guys. I won't care about anybody anymore. From now on it's all about headshots and…headshots."

"That's the Commander I know," Garrus responded, reacting as Shepard tried to sock him in the gut. Miranda nodded her approval at the situation. She didn't fault Shepard for being sympathetic to Citadel space, but there was no use complaining or worrying about it. Nothing good would come from preaching on a soap box. No one listened to that kind of lunacy anyway. It was best just to carry on as intended, with the mission first above all.

When the doors finally opened on the crew quarters, Shepard let Garrus out first then held the doors open for Miranda. "Shepard, I was rather hoping we could discuss our next mission tonight," Miranda offered as she stepped out of the elevator. "Okeer will be rather difficult to find and it might be best to strategize beforehand to avoid another mishap like Purgatory." Miranda had planned on saying a bit more but cut it short, watching as the Commander's expression seemed to falter ever so slightly. Something almost remorseful was behind her eyes but Miranda had no idea as to what it could be.

"Well…I'd actually, made some plans tonight," Shepard began, watching as Miranda's eyebrow rose in that perfectly intimidating way. "But I can be in your office bright and early tomorrow. Will that suit you?"

"Commander, it's not my business to pry and I don't really want to know but these…plans aren't something I'd disapprove of, are they?" Miranda asked, completely ignoring the latter part of Shepard's words.

"Oh, that's not fair. You disapprove of a lot of things."

"Fine. It's not something that will affect the mission, is it?"

"No, ma'am. It's a simple dinner date with a trusted Cerberus employee. Does that suit you?"

Miranda, knowing full well which employee Shepard was talking about, turned around and headed to her office, muttering over her shoulder, "It doesn't have to suit me. It doesn't affect the mission and that's all that matters."

Shepard watched her go, because one does not simply turn away from the sight of Miranda walking away in a skin tight Cerberus outfit, then let the doors close, leading up to her quarters. Well, the XO had been civil even after the events of last night. Shepard had to admit she didn't see it coming from such an Ice Queen. Perhaps she misunderstood Miranda. There was a lot more to people than their one outstanding quality- or several outstanding qualities, in Miranda's case. Though if Shepard had a choice, she would have much rather spent time in Miranda's office discussing business than having dinner with Kelly discussing hobbies. But as it stood, she didn't have a choice. And Kelly was far from bad company.

0-0-0-0-0

The Yeoman sat quietly at the table, sipping her beer and watching the Commander wait at the bar for her own drink. She liked the way Shepard leaned against the counter lazily, yet still observed all of her surroundings militantly. Being a marine was natural for her, and Kelly was happy that the Commander had found her niche in life at such a young age. Once her drink was ready, Shepard smiled politely at the bartender and turned, her grin growing wider as she approached the redhead.

Kelly blushed as the Commander sat down and flipped open the menu, scanning it briefly before her bright green eyes looked up to meet the Yeoman's darker ones. She smirked a bit at how flustered Kelly looked and licked her lips. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, I just…forget it, it's embarrassing," Kelly half-muttered to herself before shaking her head and looking down.

"Aw, come on, Kelly. Don't leave me hanging," Shepard drawled with a raise of her eyebrows.

"It's just that…you're so captivating, Shepard. Everything about you right down to the way you hold your drink is so…I find it so attractive. And that's why it's embarrassing. I'm acting like a child with a schoolyard crush." Kelly blushed again and took a long drink of her beer, trying to ignore the Commander's eyes that were upon her.

Shepard was smirking and could feel the faint hint of a blush in her own cheeks before she tipped the glass in her hand. "The way I hold my drink?"

Kelly nodded, looking at the Commander's hand. "It's like…it's naturally graceful. The way your pink extends a bit on its own, not touching the glass, but not drawn back so far as one that's gone through etiquette training."

"Psychologists are quite the observers, aren't they?"

"I'm afraid they are."

Shepard laughed then, setting the drink down. "Are you always this nervous? You seemed so confident on the ship."

"I guess you make me lose all of it."

Shepard gave an amused hum and looked down at the menu. Kelly was nice, but this was overkill. She was starting to remind her of Conrad Verner and Shepard really didn't want to shoot Kelly in the foot, but it was starting out that way. As she pondered what to eat her thoughts drifted to Miranda and how she would act at the table. She'd be cool, confident, and mostly quiet, opting to openly observe the Commander without any inhibitions, occasionally raising that damned eyebrow that the Commander loved so much. Shepard gave a quiet laugh then and turned the page.

"What's so funny?" Kelly asked lightly, closing her menu.

Shepard looked up, caught, and shook her head. "Oh, nothing, just a fleeting thought. It wasn't anything to do with you," she quickly remedied upon seeing the hurt look on the Yeoman's face. Yeah, dinner was definitely going to be a onetime deal with this one. Shepard wasn't very good with needy people. Those that really needed help, she was more than glad to give it, but she couldn't waste time picking up the bits and pieces of every problem Kelly seemed to possess.

"What are you thinking?" Kelly asked, leaning forward and resting her chin in her hands.

"You're the psychologist. Shouldn't you know what I'm thinking?" Shepard joked, watching as Kelly smiled easily for the first time.

"A common misconception…but I wish I had that ability. It would make life so much easier."

"I suppose it would, if you could turn it off and on. I imagine hearing everyone's thoughts constantly would get overwhelming."

"That's true. So tell me, are you going to indulge me in your thoughts since I can't read them on my own?"

Shepard gave a crooked smirk and shrugged, pausing only to give her order to the waiter that passed by before she began again. "I was just thinking about the mission. It's always on my mind lately."

"I can imagine it's on everyone's minds," Kelly responded, taking another drink.

"Do you fear dying, Kelly?"

"No, not really. But then again I have the utmost faith in you, Commander."

Shepard rolled her eyes playfully and crossed her arms. "I only wish Miranda had that much trust in me," she murmured, watching Kelly's expression change. "But I guess a woman like Miranda never trusts easily."

"She's had a hard life," Kelly agreed, biting her lip, "but that doesn't excuse some of the things she tried to do to you."

Shepard raised her eyebrows at that, leaning forward in her chair, thanking the waiter that had returned with their food. "What do you mean by that?"

Kelly gulped and her eyes widened as she looked down to play with her food. "I'm sorry, Shepard, I thought you were informed—

"Informed of what?"

"That…it's really not my place to say—

"Kelly," Shepard began slowly, taking a deep breath so as not to possibly overreact. "You can't say something like that and then not disclose all of the information. Especially if it involves me." Her hardened eyes fell on the Yeoman and she watched as she gulped before nodding obediently.

"When you were being rebuilt, Miranda and the Illusive Man were in a constant battle of how to…recreate you. The biggest argument that they had was on whether or not to install a control chip into your brain, to keep you in line."

Shepard closed her eyes at that, forcing the images of Mindoir out of her mind as best as she could. She couldn't think about that right now. Not with Kelly and not in this public place. She couldn't think about Talitha and how the chip had almost ruined her mind. How many others had died or lost what souls they had with control chips. Shepard swallowed hard and shook her head once, looking up at Kelly who then continued.

"Miranda…wanted the chip. She wanted to ensure that you would do the job, but the Illusive Man would hear none of it. He said you had to come back just as you are. Miranda was infuriated, but obeyed. However, she did make a control chip, on standby, just in case you…didn't live up to expectations."

Shepard took a deep breath, looking for any signs of deceit in Kelly's eyes. She found none, much to her dismay, and sighed as she stood up. "I'm sorry, Kelly. I'm going to have to cut dinner short."

"I understand, Commander. Maybe we can do it again on…better terms."

Shepard gave a sad smile and shook her head, pulling out her omni-tool to pay for the meal. "I don't think so. But thanks for telling me this."

Before Kelly could respond, Shepard turned and headed back to the Normandy. The Yeoman sighed to herself, her precious plan backfiring with every angered step of the Commander's boots

With every step the Commander grew angrier. She couldn't block Mindoir from her mind and she couldn't make Miranda's face any less beautiful, no matter how much she wanted to. It wasn't right. Control chips should have never been invented. Miranda of all people should have known how Shepard would have reacted to this news. Then again, maybe that was why the sentinel didn't tell her in the first place. Smart move, but the cat's out of the bag and the cat is pissed.

She felt her trust in Miranda fading as she entered the Normandy and rode the elevator up. There was no stopping this tyrant. She'd just keep pushing and pushing until she was just a mindless drone to do the Illusive Man's bidding. The doors to the elevator opened and Shepard flew out of them and towards Miranda's office.

The sentinel was sitting at her desk, as usual, but she stood quickly upon seeing Shepard's expression, growing wary. "Shepard, what's the matter?" she asked quickly, moving out of the way as Shepard went to her desk and started rifling through the drawers.

"Where is it?" the Commander muttered, her entire body shaking.

"Where's what? Get out of my things," Miranda answered, growing angry at the violation of personal space. She placed her boot on the drawer and slammed it shut, Shepard's fingers just barely getting out of the way. The Commander looked up at her, rage in her eyes, but turned away, heading to Miranda's bedside table and wrenching it open so harshly that it came out completely. Shepard turned it over on Miranda's bed and started shifting through it.

Having quite enough of this, Miranda used her biotics to pin Shepard against the wall, surprised that the Commander wasn't fighting it. She took a few steps forward but didn't dare get close enough to be in arms reach, and furrowed her brow. "Don't touch my things," she said angrily, listening as Shepard growled. "Now, what are you looking for?"

Shepard's lip twitched as her hands clenched tightly into fists. "I'm looking for the control chip."

Miranda let her biotics drop and Shepard landed on her feet but stayed put, knowing that she would soon be driven over the edge. "The Yeoman told you, did she?" Miranda asked more lightly than the Commander expected. "I should have known she couldn't keep her mouth shut with the great Commander Shepard in her presence. She likes you, you know."

"Do you think is some sort of joke?" Shepard seethed. "You were going to put a chip in my brain and control me!"

"It would have been much easier than dealing with all of this!" Miranda shouted back just as angrily, flinging her arm at the mess Shepard had created in her room. "You would have been obedient and the job would have gotten done and afterwards I would have taken it out."

"Bullshit, I'd have been your slave forever."

"No, you'd have been my slave until I had no use for you anymore. Once the reapers are gone, neither I nor Cerberus will have use for you. It'll be just like being orphaned all over again." Miranda felt the anger filling up inside of her. How dare Shepard come in here and talk to her like this. After all that she'd done for her she still couldn't see the logic in the control chip. And what did it matter now? She wasn't being controlled.

Shepard hadn't responded to her comment, and instead stood there, breathing heavily. Miranda kept herself on guard watching the Commander intently. She tensed when the Commander made a move forward, but she was merely walking towards the sentinel. Shepard moved slowly calculating her next move. She had to be punished. Miranda had to know the severity of what she wanted. The selfish princess had no clue what it was like to be inconvenienced. Well, Shepard was about to show her.

In a split second, Shepard charged, making contact with Miranda and slamming her into her bookcase, sending titles out and onto the floor. Miranda had braced for the impact but could do nothing to stop it and she let out a groan of pain at the force with which she collided. Shepard kept her pinned, placing an arm around her neck and applying pressure, watching as Miranda's eyes briefly glossed to fear before going blank again.

Rage filled Shepard's eyes and Miranda saw the remnants of her scars were glowing a deadly orange and almost seemed to be ripping just a bit. She tried to move her hands, only to stop when Shepard applied more force. "You were going to keep me caged in my own mind. Like I was some fucking wild animal!" she shouted, her entire body still shaking.

Miranda struggled against the arm, trying to maintain what oxygen she could get. She knew her face was growing read and she could feel her heartbeat increasing with worry. Struggling once more she pushed back against the bookcase, giving her just enough oxygen to say what she needed.

"Aren't you?" she choked, her voice airy and weak.

But Shepard had heard it. She applied more pressure and Miranda smiled, gesturing to the scene in her office. Shepard looked around and noticed the mess, noticed the drawer that she had damaged. The book case was nearly shattered in two, and she was holding Miranda by the neck, slowly killing her. She was a wild animal. In an instant she was off of Miranda, who fell to the floor gasping for breath and feeling the tenderness of her own neck. It would surely bruise. The sentinel looked up, expecting to see an apologetic Shepard, but instead she just saw the back of her head as Shepard walked out of her office.


	7. Sacrifice

A/N: So the meeting with Ashley is short, because I always thought it was a bit pointless. Also, hope everyone has a merry Christmas and enjoys this slightly disjointed (but fluffy-ish) chapter :)

Sacrifice

Miranda sat in her office, her hands in front of her as if she was praying, pressing them against her lips. For now, the comm chatter on Korlus had died only after she'd heard serious gunfire. Shepard sounded more stressed than usual, but Miranda could hardly say she was surprised. They hadn't spoken in the few days following their confrontation in the sentinel's room. In fact, Miranda had hardly seen the Commander at all. She wondered briefly if that was coincidence or effort on Shepard's part, but it didn't really matter.

She wasn't all too keen on seeing Shepard either. Her neck had healed quickly, as usual, but it looked terrible while it did so, giant purple and black gashes surrounding the entirety of it. She'd stayed in her office that day to avoid any questions. Her room had been tidied and she'd requested a new bookcase that would be installed once they landed on Illium again. All in all, most of the damage was fixed, save for herself and the Commander. Miranda still didn't have an answer for that yet, but it was the only thing on her mind.

"Careful, berserkers…take cover," Shepard said calmly, drawing Miranda's attention again. She heard the sound of shots being fired, an occasional command from Shepard given. This was the first mission she hadn't accompanied the Commander on and the militant side of her wondered what the effects of it would be. She and Shepard had grown together as squad mates on the battlefield, no longer needing commands to do what the other wanted. And while Mordin was skilled, he lacked that camaraderie and Miranda wasn't sure that Shepard quite had the patience to deal with that yet.

"Incinerate, Mordin! What are you waiting for?" Shepard shouted, partly out of breath.

"Your command," was Mordin's simple answer and she heard the Commander sighing deeply before her breath caught and gunfire started up again.

"Incinerate again!"

"Not charged!"

"Dammit, Mordin, he's closing on me!" Miranda could hear the furious footsteps of the Commander as she began to backtrack, firing her assault rifle continuously.

"Krogan charging!" Garrus shouted over the barrage of bullets.

Shepard grunted as a collision was heard and Miranda closed her eyes, letting her ears do all the work. The sound of fire cackled on the comm and the gunfire momentarily ceased. Then she heard the sound of Shepard's heavy breathing, grunting as she tried to, presumably, stand.

"Well, that could have gone a lot better," she muttered under her breath, and Miranda felt herself nodding. If only she'd been there. She would have placed her warp at the right time for it to recharge while Shepard used incinerate, each playing off of each other almost rhythmically. Mordin had acted too slowly, but too quickly after Shepard had to relinquish her flames on the Krogan, and the both of them weren't charged when the Krogan unleashed. It was a deadly mistake and Miranda felt herself growing angry at the Salarian.

"Mordin, take a bit more initiative on the field. I can't give orders every time I need something done when Krogans are charging at me, understood?" Shepard's tone was professional and calm. Miranda was rather surprised and impressed by it. Mordin confirmed understanding and the comm went silent yet again. Miranda longed to shut it off, but she knew that the aching feeling in her stomach would only grow worse if she didn't know what was happening to the Commander at all costs.

With Mordin's newfound initiative, however, the mission started to go a bit more smoothly. Shepard still shouted orders to the Salarian, but it was a far cry from their previous battles. They were now taking down the heavy mech surrounding the leader of the Blue Suns, while Okeer tried to save his precious project. They succeeded in taking down the enemy, but EDI's warnings suggested that Okeer wasn't going to make it. Miranda heard the sounds of the squad racing back up the steps, but the sudden absence of sound answered all of her anxiety. Okeer must have been dead.

There was a bit more silence, before Shepard came on the comm. "Normandy, Okeer is a no go but we've got some cargo that needs to be picked up…and it's a big one."

Miranda shut the comm off and relaxed back into her chair. At least Shepard was alive. But there was no way she couldn't go on another mission without the sentinel. Miranda hoped that Shepard would see reason to this. But if she didn't…she'd have to find a way to regain the Commander's trust, assuming she had it in the first place. Taking a deep breath, she looked over to a painting she had on the wall, eyeing it cautiously. She stood, prepared to head over to it, when she heard the distinct, but quiet sounds of the Normandy landing. Shepard would be on board soon. She could assess their relationship then before jumping to such hasty conclusions.

0-0-0-0-0

After a brief debriefing that ended in the Commander wanting to actually open the pod carrying a fully grown Krogan, Miranda was actually looking for some relief that she hoped the Illusive Man could provide. They tended to see eye to eye, most of the time and she hoped that today would be no different as she was tired of being underminded.

"Miranda, I hope you realize that you have single handedly put this mission in jeopardy," the Illusive Man said with an exhale of his cigarette.

Miranda raised eyebrows at him, jutting her hip out angrily. "Come again?"

"You and your trust and control chip business are causing Shepard severe mental stress. I wouldn't be surprised if she stabs you in the back, and I can't say I'd be angry about it."

"I didn't tell her about the chip!" Miranda shouted, embarrassed by her loss of cool. "Your little Yeoman did that. I just got the beating for it."

"Yet, despite my orders, you still created a control chip with the hopes of someday implanting Shepard. I've half a mind to take you off of this mission entirely."

The sentinel opened her mouth to speak again but found no words. How could he being saying all of this? She was his most trusted agent, and he was talking about her as if she was some second hand henchman. The thought made Miranda sick, but she didn't have to dwell on it for too long as a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"This is my crew. I decide who stays and goes," Shepard said from behind her XO as she stepped into the hologram.

Miranda watched as the Illusive Man seemed to stiffen at the Commander's presence, looking more pleased. She glowered at him, but it was to no use as he was completely focused on Shepard. "Of course, Shepard. I merely thought you would share the same notion."

"Don't think so much," Shepard answered coldly, crossing her arms and turning to the sentinel. "Would you mind leaving us?" she asked, looking to Miranda with a raised brow. Having quite enough of the both of them, Miranda quickly stepped out, not bothering to look the Commander in the eyes. Shepard watched her go, making sure the Illusive Man couldn't see her strained expression, before she turned back to him.

"You wanted to see me?"

"How are you doing—

"Stop right there," Shepard interrupted through gritted teeth, holding a hand out to the Illusive Man. "I am only speaking to you for mission updates. You lost any civility of mine. Don't think you'll be getting it back."

"I see," the Illusive Man answered, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "And you don't think this anger and lack of trust effects the mission."

"No, I don't. I'll prove it during the next mission. Now give it to me."

The Illusive Man looked like he wanted to argue more, but instead merely extinguished his cigarette and leaned back. "You're to go to Horizon, one of our border colonies. We lost signal with them a few hours ago. I've reason to believe that the Collectors will strike there next. Find Mordin and see if he's found a solution to the seeker swarm problem before you head out."

Shepard turned to leave when the Illusive Man cleared his throat. She glanced back over at him and he smiled. "One more thing, Shepard: Your friend, Ashley Williams, is stationed there. I think—

Shepard heard him no longer as she stepped out of the hologram, gritting her teeth in anger. As if things couldn't get emotional enough, now she was to be reunited with Ashley Williams, the grudge holding, religious marine with family issues. Shepard sighed to herself. Maybe with a little luck she'd bypass her altogether. Of course she wanted to reconnect with her crew, but the Commander knew that there was a time and a place for emotions, and she wasn't having very good timing or placement at the moment.

Walking into the lab, Shepard half smiled as she saw the Salarian diligently working at his station. She liked Mordin. He was logical, and quick, and extremely smart. Not one for idle chit chat, but the Commander wasn't looking for any of that. "What have you got, Mordin?" she asked as she neared, watching as the doctor's face lit up into a smile.

"Something good…"

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda sighed quietly as Mordin applied the seeker swarm repellant to her armor on the Hammerhead as they neared Horizon. She hadn't expected Shepard to take her along, and had to admit she was impressed. But they weren't children; they could not like each other and work together all the same. The Illusive Man's words still hung bitterly in her head and she bit her bottom lip as Mordin turned her around, applying it to the back. He and Shepard had already been covered in the prototype, and the sentinel noticed through the corner of her eye that the Commander was lazily watching her assets. It didn't bother her like it should have. The Commander seemed to have more important things on her mind. She looked tired as well. Miranda knew the feeling and definitely couldn't blame her.

Truthfully, she had dismissed the idea of a control chip after Shepard had spent the night in her room. It was in that night that the sentinel saw she wasn't uncontrollable, she was just human. And even the great Commander Shepard needs a little help now and then. But she had to admit she'd been fearful when the Commander had her pressed against the wall. Miranda never felt helpless, but in that moment, swirling in anger and pity and an assortment of other feelings, she did feel helpless. The Commander was going to crush her neck, and she was going to let it happen. Because for some reason the sentinel didn't understand, she knew that she wouldn't have been able to hit Shepard back or knock her off. She'd study the psychology of it later. They were landing.

Holding her crew back, Shepard stepped off first and looked around. Scans of the area had detected no or weak human life, and the sight of the large Collector ship was a foreboding sign that they had been too late. Cautiously, Shepard approached a nearby seeker swarm, watching as they seemed to further the distance with each step of the Commander. Satisfied, Shepard waved her crew forward, and drew her assault rifle. They walked around a corner, noting the silence, and Shepard got a sinking feeling in her gut. Knowing to follow it, she issued her squad to take cover, all three of them doing so right as collectors landed.

They fought through them efficiently, Miranda and Shepard taking down their barriers while Mordin incinerated them, coupled with gunfire. When they had taken down the last one, Shepard stood from cover and looked around. She nodded at her crew and they returned it before continuing on. Shepard had noticed that Miranda seemed to be providing a lot of cover, and taking more damage than necessary on this mission. She looked to be growing slightly tired as they passed their third round of collector drones, but she said nothing.

The Commander decided to let her be. Miranda was a brilliant soldier and could handle her own. Besides, they had plenty of medi-gel on hand and she and Mordin weren't exactly useless. Shepard figured that Miranda was trying to earn her trust back. It wouldn't come so easily but the sentinel might as well get a few scrapes and bruises along the way.

Coming across a mechanic shed, Shepard bypassed the locked door and stepped inside, her weapon still drawn. "I know you're in here," she called to the darkened room. "Come out before I kill you like the coward you are."

A man tentatively snuck out from behind some machinery and Shepard lowered her gun, though her glare was still intact. "Having fun?"

The man returned her glare. "Don't mock me. I'm lucky to be alive!"

"The only one alive. Was it fun watching all of your friends get taken while you sat up here and pissed yourself?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you," the man responded, crossing his arms.

Shepard looked him over dismissively. "No, you don't. You can't justify yourself anyway. So why don't you tell me about those defense towers I saw and why they aren't online."

"They've never worked. Can't figure out."

"We can," Miranda answered, "If you tell us how to get there."

The man seemed to notice Miranda for the first time and Shepard watched as his eyes began to scan her body, like all the others did. Stepping in front of Miranda to block his view, Shepard coughed and pulled out her weapon. "I'm really not a patient woman."

The color draining from his face, the man quickly told them where to find the towers, muttering to himself as Shepard pushed past him and exited the building. People like that didn't deserve to be saved, but it didn't matter now. The door had led them to another area of the colony, and more Collectors dropped down, along with husks and something Shepard had never seen before. It looked like a mutated husk, but its shockwave force was incredible and the Commander warned her squad to keep safe distance.

Ordering Miranda and Mordin to take out the Collectors and husks, Shepard pulled out her sniper rifle from the safety of her cover and took aim at the lumbering revolt. Watching for her crew's safety from the corner of her eye, Shepard fired headshot after headshot into the head of the best, until finally it collapsed. She then turned her rifle and took out a husk that was nearing dangerously close to her sentinel. Miranda looked over at her and Shepard noted that she was exhausted. Too tired, in fact, to keep the pace she'd been going. Mordin looked to be untouched because of her efforts.

Shepard stood from her cover and eyed the sentinel nervously. "Miranda, you know that Mordin and I can handle ourselves, right?"

Miranda wiped a fine sheen of sweat from her brow and nodded. "I'm aware of that, Commander."

Shepard thought about pushing the subject further but changed her mind, instead choosing to search the area for valuables. She took her time in doing so, hoping that Miranda would recover a bit if she did so. Once she could delay no longer, she took a deep breath and looked to her squad before bypassing the door that led to the starport.

Collectors and husks were everywhere, along with two scions. Her squad motioned to take cover but Shepard waved them back behind her, pulling out her most favorite heavy weapon. "Shepard, be careful with that," Miranda warned, and the Commander smiled at the unease in her voice. The Cain took about seven seconds to load up but once it fired, everything exploded in what looked like an atom bomb. Shepard turned to shield herself from the blast and when she turned around, the only remaining enemies were the two scions, but they looked to be struggling. Chuckling to herself, Shepard shot at them lazily from afar until they crumbled and made her way to the defense towers. After a chat with EDI it was clear that the mission was far from over as the towers would take time to build up and the Collectors were far from finished.

Shepard mobilized her crew well, listening for where the husks were coming from next and flanking to the opposite side, using her cloak to gain range. She kept Miranda in her sight at all times. She appeared to be doing just fine, but the Commander couldn't be too sure. Once they had eliminated about three waves, Shepard could feel herself declining. She gathered her crew quickly once the tirade seemed to end and applied medi-gel to all of them. It was a waste of three, but she still had a few more for emergencies. They needed to be at their peak condition for whatever came next.

What came next was something that none of them had seen before. It looked like a giant collector/husk mash up with glowing eyes, and it was heading towards them. Shepard issued her squad back to cover quickly and watched as the creature only seemed to follow her. It made sense, but it didn't mean she liked it. Upon switching covers in between fire, she realized that the creature had a dual particle beam, causing those strange glowing eyes. Cursing to herself, Shepard cloaked, watching as the thing turned away from her and headed towards her squad mates, who were on the opposite side of the field.

Smiling, Shepard began to fire at the thing, switching back and forth from her cloak and watching as it seemed to dance in between them, taking fire from both sides. When its barrier and half of its armor was depleted, the creature slammed to the ground with unrelenting force and let out a shrill howl. When it lifted again, Shepard saw that its barrier was back intact. However its armor had not seemed to repair itself.

"Mordin, Miranda, are you two holding up?" she asked into the comm, letting the creature draw nearer.

"Operative Lawson is growing weak, Commander. Cannot hold off for long."

"I am not!" Miranda shouted tiredly. "I'm fine, Commander. This tactic is working. I suggest we hold it. He's too close to you. Cloak."

Shepard looked up and saw the creature was almost on top of her. She cloaked quickly and moved to cover further back, watching as Miranda darted from cover, nearing the Commander. "Stay in cover!" Shepard shouted over the comm, watching as Miranda stopped shirt and ducked behind a crate. The behemoth was heading back towards Shepard, now closer than the Commander would have liked and she cloaked again, unleashing fire as fast as she could. Its armor was almost completely obliterated now and Shepard knew at any second that it would slam the ground to get its barrier back up. Taking a chance, Shepard unleashed her assault rifle, deciding not to lose time with cloaking herself. It kept coming towards her and Shepard ran as fast as she could from cover to cover, still firing, watching as the armor almost depleted.

The creature was directly in front of her when Shepard saw its eyes and arms lift up. It was getting ready to slam. She fired, but was out of clips. Just before the creature slammed to the ground, Shepard felt herself being vaulted backwards. She flew through the air and hit a crate, looking up to see the creature slam the ground, knocking Miranda back ferociously. The creature then let out its shrill call and Shepard watched as Miranda was sucked towards it, like a vortex, her life force draining. Shepard pulled out her pistol and fired repeatedly, rage filled tears blurring her eyes as she screamed at the creature that just wouldn't quit. Apparently, it was vulnerable during this time, as it lifted into the air, and disintegrated. Shepard wasted no time on her victory and raced forward, calling for Mordin as she went.

Miranda lay prone on the ground, deathly pale. She was weak to begin with, and Shepard quickly issued medi-gel as Mordin fell by her side. "Not breathing, no heartbeat" he said quickly, watching as Shepard's eyes widened. Mordin began to do chest compressions as Shepard tilted Miranda's head back, opening her mouth. She took a deep breath and pressed her lips to her XO's, exhaling forcefully in hopes of kick starting her lungs. Miranda didn't move. They repeated the action several times, Shepard calling to Joker in between breaths.

"Joker! Send the hammerhead for us now! I want Chakwas on board. Miranda is not breathing, no heartbeat, and she'd better be prepared to perform a goddamn miracle!" Shepard choked into her comm, unable to keep her voice level. Tears were still pouring down her cheeks and she felt her lips growing chapped from the effort but she didn't care. Miranda had to live. She couldn't lose her now. Not after she'd saved her life. Chakwas got on the comm and began speaking to Mordin. Shepard shut it off, not wanting to hear the medical chatter, and exhaled into Miranda's mouth again.

The familiar sound of the hammerhead was heard just a few moments after and Shepard looked up hopefully as Dr. Chakwas hopped onto the ground before it had landed, racing over to their side with a medical kit. Shepard leapt out of the way for the doctor and moved to sit on her knees behind Miranda's head. She ripped her armored gloves off and cupped Miranda's cheeks in her hands. They felt cold, and she resisted the urge to vomit. Chakwas was in the process of injecting something into the sentinel's arm and once she finished, Mordin stopped his chest compressions. They both looked to Miranda anxiously and Shepard lowered her forehead to press against her XO's.

"Come on, Miranda," she repeated over and over in a whisper that she wasn't sure Miranda could hear even if she was alive, her hands absently stroking Miranda's cheeks.

The woman beneath her stirred and Shepard shot up, fighting off the dizziness as Miranda's eyes opened wildly and she began breathing, choking a bit on the air. Chakwas and Mordin placed a hand on Miranda's shoulders holding her in place until her breath was regained, and Shepard watched as her eyes fluttered a bit before closing. "She's stable, but we need to get to the Normandy now," Chakwas said professionally, standing.

Shepard nodded and moved to Miranda's side, placing an arm under her back and knees and lifting the sentinel damsel style, jogging towards the hammerhead. Once she was inside, she found Jacob waiting anxiously. He motioned to take Miranda, but the Commander shook her head, sitting and holding Miranda tightly to her for the rest of the journey. She placed her cheek against the sentinel's, feeling its warmth and listening for every heartbeat and every breath that assured her that Miranda was alive.

Ashley Williams watched the hammerhead pull away and shook her head. She didn't know what the Commander was doing alive, or why she was with Cerberus. But it was clear the way she acted about that woman that this was no time to catch up. She'd shoot the Commander an email later to see if it still worked. Maybe she'd get some answers then.

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda remained unconscious for the next two days. And in those two days no missions occurred. Shepard remained glued to her side, watching Miranda recover as she leaned forward in her chair, her elbows on her knees, holding her head up. The only other person that visited her was Jacob, but she found that he never could stay for long. Other than checking the monitors or administering more medicine, Dr. Chakwas left her alone, sitting quietly at her desk.

She was doing just that when she felt someone's presence behind her. Knowing that no one had entered, Helen Chakwas turned and faced the Commander, standing when she saw how upset the woman looked. "Commander, are you alright?" she asked, placing a hand to the Commander's forehead in a most motherly manner. Shepard nodded and the doctor removed her hand, waiting for the Commander to continue.

"She…she's going to be alright, isn't she?" Shepard asked quietly, looking to the floor.

Helen looked over at Miranda and nodded. "Her superior genetics and enhancements are what kept her alive after the attack. She needs some time to repair herself, but she should wake soon with no lasting injuries."

Shepard nodded and sniffled a bit, looking out the window almost angrily. Helen furrowed her brow and stepped near the Commander once more, placing a hand on her shoulder. Shepard turned to face the doctor and mumbled an apology. "Dr…Helen, I just, you were there so quickly, and you knew exactly what to do and you...saved her life. I can't—

"It's my job, Commander, nothing more," Helen replied with a smile, which Shepard returned, thankful she didn't have to finish her sentence.

The doctor's smile lingered as she looked over to Miranda, then back at Shepard. "You know, it's not really my business. But usually someone in your line of work doesn't let a good thing pass by. You never know what'll happen tomorrow. You might as well make today count, hm?"

Shepard looked over to the doctor, confused, and as she did so, she saw Miranda stirring from the corner of her eye. Chakwas watched as Shepard gave a beautiful relieved smile and was pleasantly surprised when she felt herself being hugged. She returned it quickly and the Commander was out of her arms just like that, heading over to the sentinel. Helen watched her go, then made an exit of her own, wondering if the Commander would ever come around to understand her words of advice.

"Miranda?" Shepard called quietly as she sat back in the chair and scooted it closer to the side of the bed.

Blue eyes shot open and began to scan the room. Shepard saw her breathing increase slightly and reached out to grab her hand, which seemed to relax her. "Miranda, it's Shepard. How are you feeling?"

"Shepard?" Miranda returned hoarsely before clearing her throat.

The Commander nodded and reached for a glass of water, helping Miranda sit up before she offered it to her. Miranda drank it eagerly and smiled when Shepard took the glass from her, setting it back on the table and taking her hand again. "You gave us quite a scare, Lawson," she said with a smile.

Miranda smirked in agreement and ran a hand through her hair, grimacing as she felt it tangle, and lowered her hand. Shepard's reached out to grab it and Miranda watched as the Commander brought their hands to her chest, looking at the sentinel with pleading eyes.

"Don't ever do that again, Miranda," she half-begged as she tried not to lose her cool.

Miranda felt her throat growing dry again and her heart started to beat just a bit faster. "It's my job to protect you—

"No," Shepard interrupted quickly, with a tone that told Miranda to shut her mouth. "No, that's an order. Never do that again. I don't…" she paused to take a breath, "I don't think I could handle it…if you died. You're the one I've grown the closest to…and the one I trust the most."

Miranda raised an eyebrow and gave a soft smile. "All it took was a little self-sacrificing, huh?"

Shepard gave a weak smile and squeezed Miranda's hand. Miranda tried to ignore the tingling sensation in brought, coupled with feeling the Commander's heartbeat as she continued to hold their hands to her chest. "Do you understand what I'm asking you?"

Miranda nodded slowly, and against her logic, squeezed the Commander's hand. "I understand."

Shepard smiled and gave a sigh of relief, standing and using her free hand to fix Miranda's hair. "I'll go and get the doctor. Would you like more water? Something to eat?"

"Water would be great."

"Okay," Shepard smiled, backing up slowly to the door.

They kept hold of each other's hands until their arms were fully extended, fingers brushing across each other's palms until they weren't touching anymore. Miranda felt herself blushing and the Commander smiled again, turning to step through the door. Miranda watched her go, feeling the sensation of the Commander's touch leaving her hand and wishing it would return quickly.


	8. Heels

**Sorry about the long wait, guys. Been really busy with moving. But I should be back on track now. Enjoy.**

Heels

"Man, I should really consider using this more often," Shepard muttered to Jacob as she cast another reave towards the computerized dummies they had set up.

"Yeah, mostly because you need the practice," Jacob chuckled, watching as the dummy that was hit showed minimal damage. Shepard growled and waited for it to recharge, watching as Jacob pulled a dummy sharply into the air, watching its artificial vitals failing.

"So why don't you teach me, oh biotic one," the Commander replied sarcastically, though it was clear by her expression that she was eager for any training she could get.

Jacob turned and regarded her for a moment and Shepard watched as his eyes clouded. "Reave's not really my thing. Why don't you get Miranda to show you a thing or two?" The iciness in his tone told the Commander all she needed to know and she made her way over to him as he leaned against the wall, looking towards the floor.

"Something you wanna say, Jacob?"

"No, ma'am."

"Bullshit, soldier, if you're gonna pout in front of your commanding officer at least have the decency to give me an explanation."

Jacob sighed but straightened his posture to look his Commander in the eye. "Sorry, ma'am, it won't happen again."

"What happened? Did Miranda reject you?"

"That's none of your business."

"Too late. You made it my business. I order you to respond."

Knowing the Commander was right; Jacob let his shoulders fall and shook his head. "Wouldn't I have to be involved with her in order for her to reject me? No, I guess you could say we had a…a thing. It didn't last long though. I knew she wasn't interested, but I just kept pushing. Guess I'm suffering the consequences for it now."

Shepard nodded slowly and put a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry to hear that, Jacob. It seems like she still thinks very highly of you."

"She does…she just deserves a better man than I…or woman," his last words came out as a gruff mutter and Shepard dropped her hand. Since the discovery of the asari, homophobia was almost nonexistent among humans anymore. Many of them were openly bisexual and there were no repercussions one way or the other. Shepard hadn't pegged Jacob as a homophobe, so she chalked it up to the fact that he was just sore over losing the woman of anyone's dreams. And while she knew that Jacob was referring to herself, she didn't have the heart to get into all of the hairy details with him. She'd just let him believe what he wanted for now. If only it was that easy.

"Well, you want her to be happy, don't you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Then quit pouting," Shepard smiled lightly and punched him in the arm. He let out a small chuckle and nodded.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my fitting," Shepard said as she headed out the door, leaving Jacob dumbstruck as he leaned against the wall.

"Fitting?"

0-0-0-0-0

The door to Kasumi's room opened before Shepard had even lifted her hand to it and the woman in question stood in the doorframe, grinning broadly as she gestured for the Commander to enter. "Welcome to Kasumi's tailoring. Judging by those child bearing hips of yours I'd say you're a size eight, yes?" The thief placed her hands on Shepard's waist and studied the size.

"I vary from eight to ten depending on my eating habits, though given my recent exercising eight sounds about right," Shepard commented, watching as Kasumi went to a large white box that was placed on her desk and undid the string.

"All solid muscle, of course. Thankfully, I thought of that, as this material is perfect for you. Undress, please, and we'll see how this fits."

Shepard sighed, rolling her eyes as she lifted her shirt over her head. Years in the Alliance had done away with any sense of self-consciousness she may have had about being half naked in front of someone. With her shirt off, she sat on Kasumi's couch to make work of her boots, watching as the thief stood over the box, admiring it thoughtfully.

"It's not something completely…skimpy, is it?" the Commander inquired nervously, watching as Kasumi turned and grinned.

"Not at all, Shep. Completely tasteful, but with just enough hints to keep Hock wanting more."

"Yeah, well, he can't have any."

"Oh right, you're spoken for, aren't you?"

Shepard rose from the couch, now just in her standard issue underwear, and raised a brow at the thief. "What do you mean?"

Kasumi sighed, "I'm disappointed in this underwear. I would have hoped for something sexier."

"Why? Are you planning on Hock seeing those?" Shepard glared at the thief, who shrugged innocently.

"Well, if I was a rich criminal mastermind, which I am, I'd invest in cameras that could see _everything_, which I did."

Shepard faltered for a moment, her eyes darting around the room, looking for bugs, only stopping when she heard Kasumi laughing. "No need to fear, Shep. I have no use for them here, especially since you're already half naked in front of me."

"Yeah, well…take a picture."

"I did. I'll be sure to forward it to your second in command. You know how she likes to be up to date on these things." Kasumi chuckled but quickly remedied herself upon seeing Shepard's anguished face. "I'm kidding, Shepard. Jesus, I thought you could take a joke."

"There are some things you don't joke about, like the notion of Miranda Lawson seeing you in your underwear," Shepard answered with a smile as Kasumi passed her the dress. The Commander slid it on and turned so that Kasumi could zip it the rest of the way. Once she was done the thief stood back and admired her work. Shepard turned awkwardly and looked down at the little black dress. It wasn't too skimpy, but it was still short, and tight, and not her armor.

"You look hot, Shepard! I'll put in an order for better underwear. Hopefully I'll get it in before tonight," she noted, tucking the strap of Shepard's bra under the shoulder of the dress. "And now for the finishing touch."

Shepard looked on as Kasumi ran to another box and pulled out a pair of black high heels. They weren't too high, but they were still heels, and Shepard groaned as they neared.

"Shepard, you know very well that you can't go into a fancy party wearing army boots. It's quite the fashion faux pas. Now, try them on."

Shepard sighed and snatched them up angrily, placing a hand on Kasumi's shoulder for balance as she applied the heels. Once she was done she stood and wobbled a bit as Kasumi regarded her. "Hmm, just as I suspected. Have you ever worn heels?"

"How could you guess?"

"Thankfully, I have a solution. Oh, and as luck would have it, said solution is on her way down. She must have gotten my message. Miranda really is a prompt woman."

"Miranda's coming? What for?" Shepard immediately crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to cover herself.

Kasumi giggled. "Shep, that doesn't work in a low cut dress. You're just pushing them out more." Shepard looked down, and quickly dropped her arms, flushing as she glared at the thief, who continued on. "In any case, she battles Batarians in heels. She's the perfect teacher. I just need you to be able to get in there and walk around until we can get your armor and your beloved boots."

Shepard opened her mouth to retort but was cut off by the sound of Kasumi's door opening, Miranda barging through. "What do you mean Shepard can't walk! What could you have possibly done to—?

Miranda stopped her tirade once her eyes fell on the Commander in her little black dress. Though her posture was still unladylike, she looked very…good. Her calves were well defined, and she could see the muscles flexing as the Commander shifted her feet. The dress hugged her nice hourglass waist and her chest was….

"Commander…it looks like you _can_ walk," she managed to say, shooting daggers towards Kasumi, who shook her head.

"Actually, she can't. Those heels are the worst enemy she's come up against yet. I thought with all of your…practice," she gestured to Miranda's own boots, "you could teach her a thing or two. I just need her to be able to walk. She doesn't have to dance or anything."

"You brought me down here for walking lessons?" Miranda answered in disbelief, letting her shoulders fall in annoyance, though she seemed used to it now.

"It affects the mission!" Kasumi shouted a bit too eagerly. "Plus, I wear flats. I can't help."

"Unsurprising," Miranda murmured, watching as Kasumi's lips raised up just a bit in the hint of a smirk.

"Well…since I'm so unhelpful, I think I'll leave you two ladies to it. Can I get anyone something to eat?"

Before either woman could answer, Kasumi was out the door, leaving Miranda and Shepard in the darkened room. Miranda looked around, noting the stolen pieces of art and the bar that she was currently craving. Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing her shoulders, which weren't used to being exposed and were chilled. Noting the movement, Miranda sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"I don't really know what to say, Commander. You just…walk."

"If it was that easy I wouldn't be wobbling," Shepard returned with a smile as she attempted to make her way towards the XO. Her moves were slow and deliberate, and as a result she wobbled even more and slammed her feet down harder than necessary. Miranda held back her laughter as she made her way over and held out her hand for Shepard to grasp. She took it eagerly and her movements improved once she had the embrace.

"You're thinking too much. Watch," Miranda said, letting go of the Commander's hand and walking to the end of the room and back. Shepard watched closely and when Miranda returned she stepped out on her own. What started off as an embarrassing start began to improve as she made her way back. Though still a bit unsteady, she was walking with more confidence and Miranda smirked at her as she neared. Shepard did the same and right before she finished her walk, her heel bent to the side. The Commander stumbled forward and into the XO's arms, who held onto her steadily.

Shepard regained her footing quickly, but Miranda didn't let go, and instead they stood in Kasumi's room, holding each other. The sentinel knew she should have let go quickly and brushed it off as nothing. But the feeling of Shepard was growing ever more necessary to her betraying body. "Sorry about that," Shepard murmured, her cheeks flushing a bit at their closeness.

Miranda's eyes found hers and she felt the sentinel's hand tightening on her back. "Miranda, did I ever get the chance to thank you properly for saving me from that…thing?"

"Praetorian, and what counts as a proper thanks?"

Shepard licked her lips and closed the distance between them. "You tell me."

Miranda sighed, feeling the warmth from Shepard's closeness radiating through her body. She longed to answer the way Shepard wanted, but the aching in her gut told her to go no further. Turning her head to the side, she released Shepard slowly, her hands skimming along the Commander's waist as they were removed. Shepard also took a step back, nodding, though she could do nothing to hide the flush in her cheeks.

"Commander…I'm sorry, I just…I need to go think."

With that, Miranda stormed out of the room, the door closing quickly behind her. Shepard stood, watching her go, and rubbed her hands together, removing the shoes and sitting on the couch. Kasumi would no doubt be coming in soon, and she needed to collect herself.

"What a tease!" Kasumi shouted as she entered her room, holding what looked like a bowl of noodles. "It was like a soap opera, Shep! I kept waiting for you two to kiss and…" she sighed dejectedly, "I guess I'll have to wait for the next episode."

Shepard glowered at her from her place on the couch, attempting to reach the zipper on her dress. "I'm glad you find all of this so damn amusing."

Sensing the Commander's change in tone, Kasumi put down her noodles and headed over to the Commander, brushing her hands away and undoing the zipper. "I was just trying to lighten the mood. It's gotten to you more so than our last encounter."

Shepard sighed as she worked her way out of the dress. "I'm sorry, I just…she's so frustrating. And a tease! I…the anger that I can hold for her is so great, yet when she looks at me like that, I'm no better than some prepubescent schoolgirl."

"Ooh, now there's a fantasy idea."

Shepard couldn't help but grin at that, even if it was weak. "I don't know, Kasumi. I want her, I think. But I'm really starting to wonder if it's worth the battle."

The thief shrugged and picked up the dress, folding it back into its box. "You two have a lot of history together. Is that really something that can be cleared up and remedied with sex in just a few weeks?"

Shepard shook her head, sighing. Kasumi was right, but that didn't mean that she had to like it. She stood to leave, turning back to Kasumi just before she did. "Don't worry about the underwear, I'm sure I've got something more suitable lying around."

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda let her shoulders fall as the office doors closed behind her. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to hold herself together in the Commander's presence. She didn't like it one bit. Even if the Commander's touch was intoxicating, she shouldn't have let it get to her. She was a professional, the best of the best. And falling over Commander Shepard like some other fan was completely uncalled for.

She sighed, feeling the pain in her stomach ease a bit. It always seemed calmer when Shepard wasn't in the vicinity. Miranda ran a hand through her hair and looked over at the picture on the wall. It was a basic piece that could be found at any store. She didn't care. Its purpose wasn't for art. Taking a deep breath to herself she strode over to the painting and lifted it, setting it carefully on her bed. She then quickly maneuvered the lock to the safe that was hidden behind it. It opened obediently and her brow furrowed as she stared at the contents inside of the safe. The dull ache slowly started to seep into her stomach again and she slammed the door shut, angrily strutting over to her desk and sitting down.

It took her some time to calm down and it wasn't until after a few minutes that she saw the blinking message button. It was from the rather annoying master thief. Didn't she have better things to do like prepare for her mission that was in just a few hours? Miranda sighed and opened it up, noticing that a camera feed opened on her monitor. It was Kasumi's room. Shepard had gone but she was looking down at Kasumi's hands as they continued to feast on noodles. Furrowing her brow in confusion, Miranda then read the attached note.

'_Miss Lawson,_

_Consider this hood-cam of mine an apology for interrupting your work earlier. I'll be behind Shepard most of the time, so you'll be able to see her in action, as opposed to just an audio feed. And you can thank me later. I think I might put a patent on this. What do you think of "Shepard's Ass-Cam?" Too crude? Possibly. I'm rambling, enjoy your evening…I know you will._

_K'_

Hiding her smirk the sentinel shut the feed off quickly, uninterested in watching Kasumi eat her noodles. However she would be interested in the mission later. Shepard would be a squad mate short as she helped Kasumi retrieve a personal possession from a Mr. Donovan Hock, who was throwing an elaborate party. While the sentinel no longer doubted Shepard's skills, she had to admit that she was still worried. Closing the message for now, Miranda set to work on her reports before it was time for Shepard's mission.

0-0-0-0-0

Miranda couldn't be certain if Kasumi was doing it on purpose or not, but her hood-cam always seemed to be focused on Shepard's chest or rear. The Commander had quite the problem of crossing her arms while in the low cut dress, enhancing the cleavage briefly before Kasumi advised her against it. Miranda couldn't necessarily complain, but it was becoming rather difficult to focus on the mission at hand.

It also made her feel quite uncomfortable. She didn't like looking at the Commander this way, especially with Shepard not knowing. Commander Shepard was more than just some body to be ogled. Miranda smirked to herself at the irony and closed the video feed for a moment, instead just listening to the audio. They had just made it to Bekenstein and through the door. Kasumi hadn't been allowed entry but that didn't stop her from cloaking herself and following Shepard in. The Commander was now in the process of attempting to get a voice sample from Hock himself. Curious as to how Shepard would handle the situation, Miranda flipped on the feed again.

Kasumi was far enough away from the Commander now that Miranda was getting a full view of Shepard as she walked in her heels up to the host of the party. Hock turned and after a brief glance of Shepard's assets, he introduced himself.

"Ms. Gunn, I hope that incident at the front gate didn't spoil the party for you?" he asked in a thick South African accent.

Shepard smiled and shook her head. "Not at all, Mr. Hock, people in our line of work need to be used to paranoia."

"I wouldn't call it paranoia," Hock answered a bit sharply, "I'm merely making sure my assets are well taken care of."

"And they are," Shepard answered with a sultry tone in her voice, "because of you taking such action at the front door. Paranoia isn't weakness, Mr. Hock. The sooner you learn that, the better criminal you'll be."

If Miranda hadn't been so proper, she would have slammed her head on the desk in frustration. Leave it to Shepard to insult the host of the party after very nearly getting caught in the beginning. Much to Miranda's surprise, she then heard the sound of Hock chuckling.

"It's not very often that I meet someone who's willing to butt heads with me. I must admit I miss it just a little bit. Well done, Ms. Gunn."

They continued to chat for a few more minutes until Kasumi had gotten the information she needed. Then Shepard thanked him for his time and went to mingle with a few other people so as not to seem conspicuous. Miranda turned the video back on once more and watched at how tall Shepard stood against the other criminals, and the way she held her wine glass. Nothing in the reports on Shepard suggested etiquette classes but she still extended her pinky a bit in almost a natural sense of it. It never touched the glass and set to the side. Miranda wasn't quite sure why she was so captivated by that and it bothered her so she looked away.

After a while Shepard and Kasumi moved effortlessly about the mansion, gathering the data they needed. All that remained was obtaining a DNA sample from Hock's room. Miranda watched as Shepard made her way over to the guard rail and after looking around, leapt over it as if she wasn't in a rather short black dress. The action made Miranda blush just slightly but she couldn't dwell on it for too long as Shepard and Kasumi were now confronted with two armed guards. Miranda watched as Shepard signaled Kasumi to attack one while sizing up the other. On her signal, the two guards were taken out before they could even fire a shot. Miranda smiled at that, feeling an inkling sense of pride at the work she'd put into the Commander.

Shortly after they had the DNA they needed and were making their way to the vault. A quick entry of all of the information and they were in. Kasumi gained a bit of Miranda's respect at that point, given how quickly they had managed all of it. After disabling the security cameras, Kasumi turned to Shepard. "So, now that we're alone, let's see that underwear of yours, huh?"

Miranda blushed as Shepard rolled her eyes but turned around so that Kasumi could unzip her. Miranda watched as the zipper came undone, revealing the Commander's smooth white back. When the zipper went lower, however, Miranda shut the feed off. She couldn't do that to her. It wasn't right. So she settled for listening to the audio feed until she was certain that Shepard had changed into her armor before flipping the feed back on.

Shepard was indeed dressed in her armor. It was a deep maroon color that looked black in the right light. It looked good on her. But given the current situation, it didn't seem that anything looked back on the Commander. Miranda sighed, watching as Shepard made her way into the vault, then closed her eyes, listening to the idle chatter until the sound of Hock's voice shot through the room. Miranda kept her eyes closed, listening as Shepard shot what sounded like something expensive, shutting the man up. It was then that she heard a barrage of gunfire and Shepard sounding commands to Kasumi.

Miranda found that she couldn't open her eyes for the entire fight, and instead drummed her fingers nervously on the desk, listening intently for anything and everything about the fight. For some reason, watching Shepard engaging in battle and seeing it and not being able to do anything about it was more than the sentinel seemed to think she could handle at the moment.

When the gunfire finally died and Shepard's voice was heard, Miranda opened her eyes slowly. She looked to be unscathed, as well as Kasumi. But if Miranda knew anything about Shepard's missions, it was that this was far from over.

0-0-0-0-0

The gunship was huge, and lined with superior shielding technology. Even though it was making Miranda sick to watch, she couldn't look away as Kasumi and Shepard were literally pinned behind a set of crates, getting flanked from all sides with the gunship above. Shepard was taking the mercs out as best as she could, but Miranda knew they were running low on ammo.

"I'm out of clips!" Kasumi shouted, slamming the barrel of her pistol against her hand as if it would make more appear. Shepard said nothing but relinquished the clip from her own gun and passed it off to the thief. The Commander then cloaked herself and Miranda held her breath until she returned, breathless, but with more clips from fallen mercs.

Miranda's stomach was aching with longing. She needed to be there. Shepard needed her to help with that damned gunship. She and Kasumi weren't well attuned and it was showing. Shepard stood to fire and was blown back by a rocket from the gunship. Miranda watched as her shields were virtually obliterated and another rocket was coming her way. The sentinel stood from her chair and opened the comm that Shepard didn't know she had. "Shepard! Roll left!"

The Commander did as she was told immediately and Miranda could almost swear she saw the hint of a smirk on Shepard's lips as the rocket blasted to her right. "Been here all along, eh, Miranda?"

The sentinel said nothing but lightened up ever so slightly as she heard the Commander chuckle. "I'll take that as a yes. Glad to have you back, even if it's just in voice."

"Watch the mercs closing on your right, Commander," was Miranda's only answer as she sat back in her chair. After a few more brief bouts of fighting, the gunship was finally destroyed, along with the piloting Donavon Hock. Miranda closed off the feed and shook her head as she stood. She was as exhausted as if she'd been in battle with them. The ache in her stomach had only just subsided when Shepard was out of danger.

Sighing to herself, Miranda went over to her wall safe and put in the combination once more. There was only one way she was going to get past this. It would probably be hard and end up violent, but it was better than enduring this for the rest of the mission at hand. And when it came down to it, the mission was top priority. Shepard would definitely not be happy, but there was no longer a choice in the matter. She was affecting Miranda and Miranda was affecting her. It had to be stopped for the mission to be a success. Closing her eyes, Miranda took a deep breath and reached out to grab the control chip.


	9. Looking Back

**Dear 'Someone'— I really could go into detail about my sexy-hot girlfriend, but you wouldn't believe me. But, I sincerely hope you don't have children either. Glad we could get that settled :P As for everyone else, would you like a lemon in this piece? It wouldn't be for a while, if at all, but I thought I'd ask. Thanks for reading!**

Looking Back

Shepard had just stepped into her room and was preparing for a long shower. She kicked her heels off immediately and sighed as they made contact with the cold floor. She was certain she got a blister on her Achilles from all of the walking she did in those evil contraptions, but the chill of the floor was easing the pain a bit. The Commander basked in it for a moment, gently rocking back and forth from the balls of her feet to the heels like a cheap massage. While gaining Kasumi's loyalty was important, she hadn't expected a showdown with a gunship. But nevertheless, it had been defeated, and she was finally back in the comfort of her Normandy.

Her return was mostly due to Miranda's intervention. Had the sentinel not gotten on the comm, she probably would have been obliterated by a rocket. Shepard chuckled at the would-be look on the Illusive Man's face if he'd found out Shepard had been killed. It was almost worth dying a second time for…almost. Rolling her eyes and noting how tired they were, Shepard attempted to lower the zipper on her dress when the doors to her supposedly locked cabin swished open.

Shepard didn't have to turn around because right when she realized someone had entered her room, Miranda was standing in front of her, glaring intently. The Commander lowered her hands to her side and regarded the sentinel thoughtfully. She looked pissed, that was clear, but there was something else going on that the Commander couldn't quite place.

For a few moments, Miranda said nothing. She simply glared at Shepard, breathing heavily. Shepard knew that she was waiting for her to say something, but she had no idea what. After all, it was the sentinel that barged into her quarters. Surely she was more in control of the situation for that. Shepard licked her lips and her eyes darted around the room. She felt like a child about to be scolded and it was hard to look at Miranda.

But when she did manage a glance or two at her second in command, she could see the faintest of dark rings under her eyes. Her lips were possibly a little chapped, and her hair was slightly less than her normal perfection. Miranda still looked like a goddess incarnate, of course, but something was definitely wrong. She had to have been lacking in sleep severely if it was starting to show on her pristine body. Taking a chance, the Commander stepped forward. If Miranda noticed, she didn't show it, and Shepard dared a step more. She then reached out and placed her hand on Miranda's cheek, the pad of her thumb gently tracing the subtle black rings of the sentinel's eyes.

Miranda closed her eyes at the touch. It was soft and warm. It made her want to go to sleep and wake up with that same feeling upon her. Her body swayed a bit in its fatigue and another hand was placed on her waist, steadying her. She now felt as if she was dancing, Shepard's strong hands holding her close as they swayed against soft music that neither of them were really listening to.

"Miranda?" Shepard asked quietly; worry growing ever more prevalent in her bright green eyes. "Maybe you should sit down. You look exhausted."

Miranda's eyes shot open at that and she stepped back from the Commander's touch, ignoring the chill that replaced it. "No, Commander, there are some things we need to take care of first."

"But—

"Just shut up!" The sentinel shouted, causing Shepard to jump at the sudden screech in her voice. Miranda visibly calmed after that, her shoulders falling as she ran a hand through her hair. Shepard stood silently, waiting for whatever came next. Miranda then sighed and went over to Shepard's desk and opened her clenched palm. A tiny object fell out and Miranda stepped away, gesturing for Shepard to come over.

The Commander did so and looked down at what had been placed on her desk. Against her better will and judgment her stomach knotted up tightly. Extreme force of will kept the memories at bay for now, but she couldn't stop the pain that welled up inside of her. She'd seen too many of these forced into people's skulls on Mindoir. "What is this for?" she finally managed to say through gritted teeth.

"It's for you."

Shepard shot up immediately, her fist clenching tightly, only to be stopped by Miranda shaking her head. "I meant that it's yours now, to destroy however you want."

The Commander stopped then and looked at Miranda suspiciously. She looked too tired to be anything but forthcoming at the moment. Shepard then turned and looked back at the chip. It was small, the size of a thumb nail, and black. To anyone else it probably looked like a piece of trash. Shepard clenched her teeth along with her fist and brought her hand down upon the chip. Her hand stung a bit at the force, but she soon relaxed upon feeling the chip crumble beneath her force. She released her hand and flexed it a bit, the pieces stuck to her skin falling back onto the desk.

Shepard closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before she managed to turn and face Miranda. She was staring at the destroyed chip lazily, most likely unsurprised at Shepard's reaction. The Commander took a few steps closer and placed her hand on the sentinel's shoulder, ignoring the fact that Miranda tried to shake it off.

"Thank you," she said, barely above a whisper.

Miranda looked up, more awake now than she'd been on this entire visit, and stepped back angrily from the Commander. Shepard looked taken aback but moved no closer. "Thank you?" Miranda practically mocked as she ran her hands through her hair.

"Thank you…very much?" Shepard offered, realizing quickly that wasn't the correct response as Miranda looked even more aghast.

"What is wrong with you, Commander?"

"Other than the obvious?"

"This isn't the time for joking!" Miranda shouted again, flinging her arm angrily at the Commander, who didn't flinch, but did start to glare.

"Well, perhaps you'd like to elaborate then instead of just biting my head off."

Miranda swallowed hard and the two women had a stare down for a few minutes. Shepard could see Miranda struggling but her stubbornness appeared to be winning out at the moment and she wasn't sure if she'd get an answer tonight. So she calmed herself down, and took another step towards Miranda.

"Come on, Miranda. Let's just calm down and talk about this," she said, reaching an arm around her and rubbing her arm, pleasantly surprised that the sentinel wasn't fighting. Before she decided to speak anymore Shepard led Miranda over the bed, a much softer alternative than the sofa, and sat her on the end of it. Miranda appeared to visibly relax once she was off her feet and Shepard smiled at that, stroking her cheek again. It wasn't until she felt the wetness on her finger that she realized Miranda was crying.

"Miranda," she whispered seriously, "please talk to me."

Miranda rolled her eyes before wiping them and then shook her head to control herself. Then she turned to face the Commander, her pupils looking almost violet against her reddened eyes. "Why don't you hate me?" she asked so softly the Commander almost didn't catch it. However before Shepard could respond, Miranda continued.

"Why don't you doubt that that's the only control chip? Why aren't you yelling at me for making it in the first place? Why do you _insist_ on being so…goddamn kind." Miranda then murmured an obscenity or two before looking down at the floor.

Shepard was silent for a few long, agonizing minutes after that. Truthfully, it was because she didn't have the answer at first thought. Miranda was right, given their past experiences together. She should be in a violent rage right now, or at least screaming or attempting to make Miranda feel as low as possible. But the thought made her a little sick to her stomach. She didn't think she could make Miranda feel any worse than the sentinel was feeling now, and she certainly had no want to try.

But that didn't excuse Miranda's actions. Making the control chip, going behind her back with Kelly, that damn haughty attitude that seemed to grind her nerves on every turn, were all legitimate reasons to piss the Commander off. Shepard closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She wasn't very good at lying, and no good would come from it now.

"I…you're right. I should be furious with you," she began slowly, watching as Miranda turned to look at her once more. "I should want to make you feel horrible, possibly even hurt you in those rages I often get. But I don't want to. I don't think I could."

"Why not?"

"Because I care about you, Miranda." Shepard placed a hand on the sentinel's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You're a good person, and you've become a good friend."

"But I haven't earned that!"

"That's not your decision to make."

"Commander, the only thing I've done is persecute all that you stand for and all that haunts you. I shouldn't even be your second in command anymore."

"Why are you so hard on yourself?" the Commander asked, her voice desperate for an answer. "Why does someone like you feel this way?"

Miranda grimaced at the question and laced her fingers together. "The only thing I can ever claim as my own doing are my failures…my mistakes."

"That's ridiculous."

"No it isn't!" Miranda stood, glaring angrily down at the Commander. "You don't know a damn thing about me!"

"Then enlighten me!" the Commander shot up, their faces mere centimeters apart now. Miranda tried desperately not to lose herself in those beautiful green eyes but despite her better judgment, her will was fading. Closing her eyes in defeat, she heard the sound of Shepard sitting back down on the bed. Not wanting to be that close to her again yet, Miranda stayed standing, pondering the wording of what she was about to say.

"Commander, I wasn't 'born' like you or most humans were. I was created, in a lab, not unlike the way you were born again. My father, a very wealthy, very vain man, wanted an heir to his fortune. But not just anyone would do. He wanted the best. And the best was me…at least, I was the best he could manage. My good looks, my genetic enhancements, my biotics, my brain, all of it were mere…copies of something or someone else. I'm just a creation of a man's vanity, nothing more. And yet despite all the money he poured into me, I wasn't enough.

"He was a very strict man. All professional, no love…it was a wonder I survived childhood at all, with no love. I suppose maybe that came from the staff that taught me. But I can't imagine their love would be anything other than some warped form of pity."

The words were coming easily to Miranda, more than she would have liked. She didn't like being so open. She had never been so open to anyone in her life about this. She felt like crying and she felt like hitting something. But mostly, she felt like saying more. Letting the Commander in on her life, even though they hardly knew each other in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps it was the Shepard was looking at her, with those hard eyes and set jaw, determined to take in every word and really listen to it. She didn't know, but she continued on anyway.

"I was trained in all sorts of things educationally and recreationally and despite high marks from all of my teachers, it was never enough for my father. The only time he ever gave me any attention was when I did something less than perfectly. Then I was scolded endlessly, beaten on some nights when he'd had too much brandy, and made to never forget it. I left as soon as I could. It wasn't as easy as just walking out the door, but I managed. And I've never looked back."

A few minutes of silence followed before Shepard finally spoke.

"You look back every day."

Miranda opened her mouth to speak but stopped as the Commander stood and reached for her hands, holding them comfortingly. "Every time you think of him, you think of your failures, or your lack of worth, you're looking back at him. It's only human, Miranda, which is what you are. Despite what your father may have given you, you've made them your own. And you've done more with them than your worthless father could possible imagine. I'm not eloquent on words so I won't be able to change how you feel with a well-placed adjective or anything, but you mean something to me, for exactly who you are, not what your father made you. For starters, he wanted you to behave, and here you are."

Shepard smiled as Miranda looked like a child in this moment, wanting to believe her words more than anything but also being hindered by years of suffering. She let go of the sentinel's hands and brought hers up to cup Miranda's cheeks, waiting until Miranda made eye contact.

"You are responsible for your failures, for your mistakes. We all are. But you're also responsible for saving my life, twice, and bringing an end to Reaper invasion. Do you think that's what your father had planned for you?"

Miranda shook her head, causing the tears to fall loosely and Shepard embraced her. Miranda didn't react at first, but soon the Commander felt her hands on her back, holding her tightly as if she'd disappear otherwise. She could feel Miranda's heavy breathing as she tried to calm herself, feel her warm body against hers, the smell of her hair, of her skin, the feel of her shoulder blades and the faintest hint of her spine as she gently trailed her fingers down her back and up again.

The action comforted Miranda. It spread warmth throughout her body and caused her tingle just a bit. She could feel the muscles of the strong Commander against her front, the flat stomach pushing against hers with every breath, the smell of a perfume she hadn't noticed before that was perhaps only used for Hock's party, the feel of the tight dress. It was overwhelming as her senses seemed to overload and focus only on Shepard.

Shepard was the first to pull away. Their arms were still around each other but the Commander seemed more intent on looking into Miranda's eyes at the moment. Such a deep, dark blue, red around the edges from her recent tears but all the more beautiful for that. Shepard's eyes then trailed downward to the full lips.

Miranda noticed the movement and put her hand on the back of Shepard's neck, fingertips gently pulling her closer. Shepard needed no more invitation as she leaned back in to kiss Miranda. It was very slow at first, both of them merely content to finally be in the moment, and cautiously their lips started to move, deepening the kiss as Shepard held tightly onto Miranda, who seemed a little weak in the knees.

Shepard pulled back after a few moments, breathless, even though it was a fairly short kiss, and smiled at Miranda, who still had her eyes closed. It was then that she remembered how exhausted Miranda was and she led her over to the bed. Miranda seemed to hitch at that, looking a little more than uneasy and Shepard smiled again, giving her a peck on the lips for reassurance.

"We're just going to sleep. You look like you need it."

Miranda nodded, too tired and overwhelmed to object, and crawled into bed at the Commander's beckoning. Shepard then sat with her back to Miranda, and gestured to the zipper on her dress. Miranda rose up lazily and dragged the zipper down, revealing what she'd refused to look at on Kasumi's camera feed. The Commander's back was tanner than hers, but still light, and she could see the muscles rippling underneath as Shepard slid herself out of the dress and threw it on the couch.

Her underwear was not standard issue, nor was it a sexy laced piece. It was dark and thin, probably Shepard's version of provocative, but suited the needs of being unseen under the dress. Shepard turned her back to Miranda as she fiddled with the bra and Miranda took this opportunity to take her boots off, not really wanting to see the Commander like that just yet. By the time her boots were taken care of, Shepard had donned a shirt and shorts and was climbing into the other side of the bed, turning off the lights as she did so.

Miranda lay down with her, feeling a bit awkward at the entire situation but certainly not enough to leave, and looked over at Shepard. The Commander smiled again and touched her cheek, bringing Miranda in for yet another kiss, murmuring "Sleep well," as she pulled away.

Miranda smiled and turned over, hoping to be able to sort her thoughts out, but her fatigue was so great that she was out as soon as her head hit the pillow.


End file.
